Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It has been about a year since the rug was pulled out from under me. In that time I have watched a lot of the things that I defined as success disappear. My wife left me and I ended up divorced, she got the house, I had to leave my job, and had some health problems along the way.
Things have finally come around and almost full circle, minus the wife and the house. This is fine as I am not in a hurry to have a wife right now and the house thing may or may not happen because I am not sure where it fits into my future goals.
Along this journey I have seen the worst that human beings can be and I have seen the best that they can be. I have had people who I thought were my friends back stab me and ultimately cause me to leave the place I was living and my job and at the same time I have seen people I barely know or don't know at all pour out tons of support.
Some of the things that I have learned along the way are:
1. No matter how bad it seems, it could be worse, but it will get better.
2. During times of crisis you find out who your TRUE friends are.
3. A person's family can be the greatest support structure ever.
4. People gravitate towards drama (it is in their very nature).
5. Things don't always happen quickly and often have to be done in small steps.
6. All things will happen in God's time and plan, not your own.
7. Music can be a great comfort during rough times if you pick the right songs.
8. The dating world is a scary place filled with drama and games. It is what it is and it is nothing more. Patience is key.
9. Patience is very important, buy your time and watch how things play out instead of diving into the water without checking the temperature.
10. Although there are things that effect your life, they won't take it unless you let them.
11. Remember to take time for yourself and do things for yourself.
12. Set a large array of goals and enjoy the satisfaction when you accomplish any goal, weither it is big or small.
13. Don't push yourself all of the time. When you feel that there is a lot of pressure on you and you are having a hard time it doesn't hurt to take a break and access things.
14. Although it is very nice to plan ahead, be aware that the plans don't always work, back-up plans don't always work, sometimes you have to go with the flow.
15. If you think that you can, you will. If you think that you can't, you won't. If you aren't sure then make yourself believe that you can and you will.
These are just a few lessons that I have learned and I thought that I would share them with people that are going through rough times.
As for now I am trudging through the dating world, for better or for worse. I can tell that I have healed about as much as I am going to because I seldom think of the ex, have no ill feelings towards her, I am not in a rush to get into a relationship (I once had this pressing feeling that I needed to be in a relationship but that isn't so), and I no longer feel lonely. Being alone isn't so bad once you figure out that you are never truely alone if you know yourself.
I ended up finding a new job after searching for 4 months or more. The job isn't a dream job by far but it is a small step on a new path. I have things that I would like to do down the road but I will not plan that far ahead at this point.
I no longer feel bad about living with my parents. This is only temporary and I will probably be living part time on my boat anyways. This is also one of those small steps towards a bigger goal down the road. I am enjoying the mobility that this will provide for me in the future because I am not tied down to a contract or rent. When I have an opportunity to get a job that seems interesting to me then I will be able to move on it quicker.
Prespective is very important. It is not how they perceive things, it is how you perceive them. What they think about you is of very little importance because at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is the most important thing. If they don't like you or gossip about you....forget about them because only you know the true you.
Good luck on this journey. In the end you will be a stronger person and it will open up new doors and new pathways for you to travel. Not that they are always better or worse, but in the end all things will meet in between.
Things have finally come around and almost full circle, minus the wife and the house. This is fine as I am not in a hurry to have a wife right now and the house thing may or may not happen because I am not sure where it fits into my future goals.
Along this journey I have seen the worst that human beings can be and I have seen the best that they can be. I have had people who I thought were my friends back stab me and ultimately cause me to leave the place I was living and my job and at the same time I have seen people I barely know or don't know at all pour out tons of support.
Some of the things that I have learned along the way are:
1. No matter how bad it seems, it could be worse, but it will get better.
2. During times of crisis you find out who your TRUE friends are.
3. A person's family can be the greatest support structure ever.
4. People gravitate towards drama (it is in their very nature).
5. Things don't always happen quickly and often have to be done in small steps.
6. All things will happen in God's time and plan, not your own.
7. Music can be a great comfort during rough times if you pick the right songs.
8. The dating world is a scary place filled with drama and games. It is what it is and it is nothing more. Patience is key.
9. Patience is very important, buy your time and watch how things play out instead of diving into the water without checking the temperature.
10. Although there are things that effect your life, they won't take it unless you let them.
11. Remember to take time for yourself and do things for yourself.
12. Set a large array of goals and enjoy the satisfaction when you accomplish any goal, weither it is big or small.
13. Don't push yourself all of the time. When you feel that there is a lot of pressure on you and you are having a hard time it doesn't hurt to take a break and access things.
14. Although it is very nice to plan ahead, be aware that the plans don't always work, back-up plans don't always work, sometimes you have to go with the flow.
15. If you think that you can, you will. If you think that you can't, you won't. If you aren't sure then make yourself believe that you can and you will.
These are just a few lessons that I have learned and I thought that I would share them with people that are going through rough times.
As for now I am trudging through the dating world, for better or for worse. I can tell that I have healed about as much as I am going to because I seldom think of the ex, have no ill feelings towards her, I am not in a rush to get into a relationship (I once had this pressing feeling that I needed to be in a relationship but that isn't so), and I no longer feel lonely. Being alone isn't so bad once you figure out that you are never truely alone if you know yourself.
I ended up finding a new job after searching for 4 months or more. The job isn't a dream job by far but it is a small step on a new path. I have things that I would like to do down the road but I will not plan that far ahead at this point.
I no longer feel bad about living with my parents. This is only temporary and I will probably be living part time on my boat anyways. This is also one of those small steps towards a bigger goal down the road. I am enjoying the mobility that this will provide for me in the future because I am not tied down to a contract or rent. When I have an opportunity to get a job that seems interesting to me then I will be able to move on it quicker.
Prespective is very important. It is not how they perceive things, it is how you perceive them. What they think about you is of very little importance because at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is the most important thing. If they don't like you or gossip about you....forget about them because only you know the true you.
Good luck on this journey. In the end you will be a stronger person and it will open up new doors and new pathways for you to travel. Not that they are always better or worse, but in the end all things will meet in between.
Thanks for sharing this, Heave. Good on ya!
RR99
Hugs,
Lyn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AvkyHCU7XU&feature=related
Thank you.