Have you told him specifically to leave you alone?

Can you email him?

Let him come over but have a large tattooed biker dude there to make him very uncomfortable or lock up tight and enjoy a Friday evening out. maybe he will take the hint.

hmm..... having a dude with me would be a really cool idea... LOL, especially a tattooed biker dude lmao!!!

let em see if i can cough one up...

The reason I asked my question is because if you have specifically asked him to leave you alone and he has continued to contact you, you have the basis for harassment. Contact the police, tell them what is happening and ask them to contact him and tell him to quit.

If he contacts you again, document it (voice mail is wonderful), contact the police and they will charge him with harrassment. (Gee, does this sound like I've gone through it?)

i thought 2 nights ago he got the idea but it seems not.

that's why i'm guessing i should just call him and say plain as day for him to stop and leave me alone. his last stunt was the last card on my patience. BEFORE, i didn't mind being his friend, but after this bullshit drama he just pulled, i'm done being there and done talking to him.

but i guess he thinks because he said sorry again that i'll be open to letting him continue. guess again.

Mommy is right and has a good suggestion.

Lynne

Can you dial directly into his voicemail and leave him a message? That's what I do to my ex...stumbled across this last year...it drives him crazy...he's just sitting there and looks up to see he has a voicemail and the phone didn't even ring. He keeps saying, how do you do that? It's like I'm magic. LOL

I might send him an email stating that unless he is coming by to PICK UP his cats, then to not bother coming over and to leave you alone.

I agree with reply #10. Let him come over, but only to pick up his cats. If you don't want to see him you can always have a friend that you trust there to let him in to get his cats. Then there will be no further reason for him to contact you. As long as you have his cats, he can use that as an excuse to continue to contact you. Good luck.

i've talked the cat issue over with him before. he gets very upset and it always boils down to he can't take them with him. i think he can't let me go and he just uses the cats as a foot in the door to keep coming back to see me or hang on to me in some way.

one of the cats i already agreed to keep because she needs constant medical care, but the other one is healthy and i told him i'm already looking for another owner for him (since he won't come get him). every time i bring that up to him he starts crying.... "please don't get rid of my cat! please!"

btw, how do you dial into someones messaging?? i really wish i could do that!

if i send him a text message he may try to call me back. if i email him, do you think he'll check it in time? i mean before Friday gets here?

i called him and told him to leave me alone and to not come around. that i'm tired of his drama. that he's an EX so i need to close this part of my life out. that he shouldn't call me anymore either and stop bothering me.

oh boy...... he didn't take it very well AT ALL! started going off on me!
said that i'm vicious and a liar and that my friend is a liar blah blah blah.... said that he only wants to come see his cat and not deal with me. that he only puts up me for the sake of the cat.

i said fine then come see him on Sat but i wont be here, i'll be at a meeting. he got even more upset, said he won't come at all then! ....huh? i thought you said you only wanna come for the cat? nope he won't come at all, yelled at me some more, cut me down some more blah blah blah..... something about if i'm that appalled by him.....yada yada...

so i said "ok then so i just wanna make sure i got this right.... you're not coming anymore to visit Miko?" he said no he'll stay the fuck away from me. i said ok take care then and his response was "yeah! fuck you!" and hung up.

wow...... that went well....... i just have to add that between some of that there was some more arguing but i didn't include it here. i just wrote down the gist of it.

does anyone else see that he was using the cat to see me? or is just me?

Seems clear to me that he is, bluesun. Why not insist that either he take both of his cats or you will have to find other homes for them. Once you no longer have the cats, neither one of you will have any reason to contact one another. If at that point he does continue to harass you, you might want to consider involving the authorities. Good luck to you.

my ex did the same thing with a dog. She dangled that dog over me for well over a year, with the hopes I would get him back. She would call and say I am coming down this day. To me, she had no right to tell me when she would be there and I just had no say so and had to be there. We were ex's and all rights ceased at that time. but it was hard, cus I wanted to see my dog and get him back. But I did much like you, and then, she always folded and would choose to be nasty, tell me a few things, and so on. When in truth, she never planned on coming with the dog anyway.

So I can see that he is using the cats, keeping them there so to have some sort of connection to you still. It is a warped way of doing things, but it is what some people do some times.

You did good with not letting him drive this situation by telling him what you did on the phone. I feel bad for the kitties though. I mean, he left them there and I am sure you will take care of them as long as they are there. But if I remember, you really didn't want to have the kitties? Either way, at this point, it is something that is neither here nor there anymore.

I think you handled the situation very well.

@13: yup, using the cats as an excuse