Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
From the moment divorce became the topic of my marrige, I went from extreme gut wrenching pain, to sadness, lonelyness and the emptiness I felt once I recognized the divorce was real and not just a bad horific dream.
One moment I was struggling to find closure and the next thing I knew I focuses on the inner closure and braved the pain and anger to tell my ex to be wife that I am sad to not reach the mountain top with her but no matter how much it hurts I accepted that she needed to follow her heart.
Since that conversation something happened to me, I went from hurting to complete numbness and started on outlining what I needed to do to heal and live well for myself and my kids sake. I will be lying if I claim I am over her completley. We even talked about working on ourselves and touching base to see if we have anything left in the tank to offer each other and even talked about the possibiliies of going on a date in the future.
But through the process I lost something, I lost the feeling of knowing that the person I considered my wife and best friend wouldn't dig deep and fight for us before choosing to move on. I feel numb not, depressed - simply numb to the point of guilt. Is this the natural progression of accepting what is or am I in total denial?
I told her that we were not going to be friends and that I gave her future to God. I'll still be there to co-parent with her and I'm not going to say anything bad about her (the kids can figure that out on their own).
I'm not over her completely either, I have a lot of rough times but I'm not going to let her see that.
I hear you on the losing something by not fighting for us, but in my case I think I lost 'us' when she decided she needed to divorce me to be with the new boyfriend. Still hurts that 18 years together could be so casually thrown out the window.
I would say that guilt is totally normal even for the person being left. I've felt it as going through my emotions as I've worked on letting go of the past and future I thought I shared. When I married her I said 'til death do us part' and I meant it. Kind of feels like I'm going back on a promise as I unwind my feelings for her.
I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. You're not alone though. Stay strong!
Hope you guys remember that the sun will come up tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there will be sunshine. Tomorrow. Tomorrow...and i'm out of lyrics. Have fun guys!
I had to move desks at work on Monday because...reasons. Found out wedding picture in the back of one of my drawers where I threw it after she left me. Had a small incineration party that night.
Needing to deal/cope with him anymore.
During the separation and divorce process i
Was numb toward him. It was the only way i
Could get thru it when seeing him. I usually
Saw him daily from a distance and sometimes
Up close. He had his business on the Property.
Now that i have moved and gone no Contact
not sure How i will be if i see him. Its bad enough
When i get something in the mail from him.
My big hope is when i can reach the Indifference
stage. I am at the hate/numb Stage Right now.
Hates only the flip side of love so Its still not over
And done on my insides. Indifference is my next
Stage i hope and pray, HUGS
I still have times where hate is in the driver's seat, and harder times when love has the wheel (it's hard to turn off almost 2 decades of feelings). More and more it's just a feeling of I don't care what she does. I honestly think it's because of the mean games that she's been playing that I just finally hit the point of 'f it' when it comes to her.
I went though a divorce years ago and unfortunately to ease the pain, I found myself in taverns at all hours of the night trying to figure out who I was and where my life was headed. I have many regrets about my behavior which ultimately reflected upon my children, I wish I had put my focus on them but I didn't. Even though I would've made changes, that year taught me a lot, and made me a better mother. I hope you can find some light, and that the numbness eases, that you can find comfort in all the blessings you have despite the trial you are facing......