At this moment.....I don't feel so good about myself and very much less of myself....when I used to feel WAY up high.....in love......

yep indeed. we are in complete control of our life - and that is a good thing (this was said to me by a friend at the beginning of all of this). it takes the responsibility off of others to make us happy and allows us to feel how we need to, even when we are having an off day.

others can comfort us and care for us, but its not up to them to determine how worthwhile we are - besides, i have found that no amount of someone telling me how worthwhile i am means anything unless i feel it within myself first.

this is especially difficult for me to think about when i am having a down time - or down phase - because i try to "will" myself to feel differently than i actually do - i try to remember what my worth is and shake off the "bad" feelings- then i realize if i am feeling a certain way about myself, i just need to move thru it and have my feelings. i hope one day i have more worthwhile feelings about myself than worthless feelings - its frustrating when i know i am in charge of the outcome and dont have those feelings within me.

That's very understandable.I'm sure we've all lowered the bar of our self-perception at one time or another. It just takes work and determination to slowly raise it back up.

(((hug)))

thanks. im tired of doing the work and having the determination tho. but i appreciate the thought. xoxo

I have to disagree. To set my bar higher I would have to go in deep debt. So the bar is not getting any higher.

you are so right sir,I was thinking about this today as I viewed posts.....if we want to complain/vent/be in pain(which is ok) that we were mistreated/wronged by the other person thats fine,if we also want to say that they are---whats the saying about leopards never changing their spots?----so ok "they"are these "leopards"and weve gone on about how bad they were,alot of us have taken responsibility for not being perfect on our end as well....well,weve also said we believed we were "good"people--weve described ourselves as givers,lovers,insert positive words..etc...anyhow through this venting have stated these others will never change while we are the good people,well if it holds true that the people that "wronged"us will always have these negative traits we dont like,,,then the flipside has to be that we will be always be"good/positive"people,if that makes sense...if were going to judge the exes as bad,mean,shallow,users...then we must also give ourselves credit as strong survivors that will carry our "good"traits onto our next life chapter....we can no longer sit here and pine away...it sucks,it does but if were going to blast and these negative things about the people that "hurt us"please give yourself credit......and lastly I think alot of us think that we f*cked up in someway...maybe we did...who cares...the choices we make are ours...we dont have to do anything...we really dont....if we want we can lay in bed,quit our jobs,shirk all responsibilities...that is our choice --it is...so before we all sit here and say we are helpless...lets be honest with ourselves...we will be ok....

Sometimes we have to take a break. Sometimes it's just too much at a particular moment or point in time. Life does at times become overwhelming. It doesn't mean we're weak. It just means we're exhausted and need a rest.

But we can always pick it back up when we feel we are ready.

i disagree.

my viewpoint:

we do not define our worth. God defines our worth. we are each invaluable and have inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

it is our job to see this truth and embrace it not only for us but for all of mankind. we are to see ourselves as God sees us and develop ourselves so that we can make a good contribution to society and have a happy life.

Trucker, I can totally relate to what you're saying. Sometimes priorities dictate we have to take a path that is not convenient or easy or quick.

Somebody (?) went to church this here Sunday, LOL!

faithful,

From a practical, real-world perspective, the only thing that matters is our perception.

Now if you're speaking from a spiritual prespective, our inherent and divine worth, I concede your point.

perception equals reality.....

well, then our perception must catch up with reality or we run the risk of living lives that are far less than they could be if we had only opened our eyes to see the truth of ourselves and others.

reality is objective. it is not subjective. if our subjective reality that we create or have bought into is in error, then it is our job to remove that error and replace it with the most truthful information that we can put in there.

regarding real-world perspective and spiritual perspective, there is no duality. there is no conflict. our practical world is merely an extension of the larger spiritual world, a component of it.

each of us has filters that we see through. as we mature, we should learn to identify those filters and if they are errant, to remove them. we need not stereotype ourselves, blindly believe this or that wise man or teaching or whatever, but rather use our various aptitudes and skills to tweak our belief systems, motives, style, or whatever into something that is good, wholesome, and of value.

be careful what you believe because what we believe might be wrong. and, if we are wrong and suddenly realize that 50 years from now, how embarrassed will we feel?

these are our lives. this is our shot at joy and comraderie. we need not waste it with wrong perceptions.

"regarding real-world perspective and spiritual perspective, there is no duality. there is no conflict. our practical world is merely an extension of the larger spiritual world, a component of it."

For a very select few that's true. Down through the ages they have been called enlightened.

fauthful I think I see your point,and if I try to relate it to topics of breakup/divorces....heres the catch..our realities were jilted,etc...I think theres a perception that "ok,I/we messed up this last relationship.next time Ill be perfect..."the reality is we are what we are,I dont think we can sit here and say "ok,next time(if there is one)Im with someone...its going to be perfect from the start and Im going to put the relationship on "autopilot"and it will take care of itself...that may be a perception,but I hardly think that will be reality...intimate relationships will still require us to work,earn and reciprocate love with another person.....hope I didnt go too far off topic