Have you lost hope that it will come? What are your expectations (or what is your definition of help) when you seek it?

Yes, I have had periods or waves of feeling that way as well.

Help on finding someone that will look after the baby with love and tenderness when I need to go to the restroom, or will make sure the baby is playing safely when I sleep for an hour to recuperate from a restless night.

I find that most care is in for the money (or God knows what!) and they will not do what is expected, without even wondering if they will be called again for another support. I don't want to keep trying with different people...

You have my empathy. I have had to deal with similar issues regarding ailing, aging parents. It is terrifying.

If you are looking for help outside of the home I highly recommend you check into your local university or community college. Years ago I worked part time in one of the university pre-schools and can vouch that the caregivers are trained very well. With so many professors and observers always walking around, every person there is on their toes to do the absolute best they can do. They use the latest knowledge in the field of child development to set up curriculum in the classroom as well. It's also an excellent opportunity for socialization for your child.

If you need in-home care it's a case by case basis I'm afraid. You just have to get a feel for the person. I do recommend trying an agency for a home worker. It might be more expensive but the agency will be able to match you with someone that best suits your needs. You can also try advertising at the child development program at a local college. At least that way if someone answers your ad you know they have been trained somewhat about proper child development and caring skills at the college.

I think its also important to know that no one can or will love our children like we do. We are the only mommies for them. It is hard to turn your children over to a stranger and trust that they'll be ok. But I can tell you after having 2 children in daycare and looked after by my inlaws that the daycare setting was so much better for them, even though they were total strangers, because they had training and were up on the latest child developments. I was always arguing with my MIL about how to put the baby to sleep in its back, and she would do it her way (on its stomach) anyway, even after I explained to her the risk of crib death. My kids were fine after their day-care experience. I worried a lot for nothing. Take a chance and learn to trust others to help you so you can get a break. You are not the best mother you can be if you're exhausted.

You've got to have time to recharge. I like the idea of someone with a child development background working with the baby. While someone who attends church offers no guarantee have you considered going to pastor of church and asking for recommendations?