Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
The days slowly pass. Lately I’ve felt numb to everything. I can’t get the divorce off my mind. For 12 years I’ve been a husband. A title I’ve held proudly. Combined with being a father I’m certain there aren’t any prouder accolades that I can have or obtain. In four days one will no longer be. We will be divorced. I will have to let go of yet another piece of who I am. I’ve always been good at things I’ve tried. Most things come pretty easy to me. Where I really struggled is with failure. I would get scared or anxious about failing so I would hold back or show avoidance. That is, until she walked into my life. There wasn’t a thing in this world I wouldn’t do. There wasn’t a shred of fear left in my being when her and I stood together. I’m experiencing fear for the first time in a long time. I’m now realizing that the future I had being planning. The person I’ve grown to rely upon. Won’t be there. I’m faced with the responsibility of creating a new future all on my own. She wasn’t just a positive change she was pivotal. Her entrance into my life was the turning point for me. It was the first time I truly thought about my future. It was the first time I truly understood sacrifice and the depths at which i was able to go. She was the rock I had always needed to stay afloat. The wind for my sail. Feeling her small delicate hand push inside mine was all the comfort I needed. Looking into her eyes with her smiling back was home. The stresses of life would disappear the moment I heard her laugh. I’m lost right now without her. I’m confused to why she had to throw it away. Why she didn’t make more effort to reconcile. I ask myself why i spent so much time waiting and expecting so much out of her with so little action. Love. It’s the only reason. It the only reason i forgave her. The only reason her eyes still moved me the way they did even after I know they were used to look at another man. It’s the only reason her smile still unraveled the days worries even though those lips were used to kiss another man. People don’t like love these days. They don’t love-Love. It’s sacrificial. It’s ferocious. It’s not emotive. People love the idea of love. The want the emotion without paying anything for it. I’m paying for it. I’m paying what I owe. I’m paying it forward. I refuse to let this define me. It will definitely make me who I am right now. I’m willing to accept who that man is. I will embrace him like I would anyone else. I’m gonna bring him in close. Tell him that he’s got this. I’m gonna help him to his feet when he can’t do it himself. I’m gonna whisper the encouragement he needs in the moments that he needs it most. He’s going to make it. He will undoubtedly stand very tall after these troubles. His heart open and loving like never before. He will have once again shed that blanket of fear that prevented him from seeking all that is him. He will succeed.
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Listen, I can feel your dependency on her and this is a major fault. You let her be a "pivotal" and "changing", a someone who you can rely on. Be thankful this woman made you a different person and let this all be your life experience. People divorce! It is a fact...you are not along. Every relationships end one day. This is a reality.
Letting go is a process. You won't be healed in one day, but surely you will adjust. Look, how many people experience the same pain. Divorce is a DRAMA that brings anxiety and pain. You can not change her mind and her feelings. It is beyond your control. And, it is so so stupid to dig into your mistakes or faults if any. We all are not perfect.
Let yourself to grief. Make a recovery plan and stick to it. You are in the beginning of a very difficult process that will end one day if you put a lot of efforts. I wish you good luck.