Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

FLING??

Kevin5jm
Kevin5jm
OK....I know I'm gonna catch hell for this post...but...we filed two weeks ago for our divorce, and all I can think about is getting away from her and being with another woman...I can't stop thinking about it. I just want a wild, crazy fling...no strings, no relationship, just friends taking care of friends...why do I want this? Is it wrong? I feel somewhat guilty but only for a second and then not anymore!! ARRRGGGGGGG!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think what you're feeling is all that strange. It's a hard time and you just want to feel good, feel different. A wild and crazy fling sounds appealing because it sounds exciting and fun. I wouldn't recommend doing it, though. It might make you feel better in the moment, but I'm pretty sure you'll feel crappy later.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your conflicted feelings indicate that you might find some comfort with counseling (alone).
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also don't think it would be a great idea, but I understand the inclination. I miss being touched and kissed, but then the thought of anyone else touching me creeps me out, so I'm conflicted too. Best wishes!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you just want to feel that you still "got it", and you want to show her that others are interested also. It is a way of getting even.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It might sound like a good idea now.. but with you feeling guilt before even doing the act, think of how much guilt you will feel after.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I went out and did that after my first marriage... wasn't a huge mistake, but it wasn't the great fun I was expecting either. I had a lot more fun after my second marriage learning to like being alone.
Kevin5jm
Kevin5jm
I agree with everyone above!! I know it would be a bad idea, and yeah maybe a way of making sure I still"got it".....all I have ever wanted is an equal relationship with someone who can share their life and I can share mine....I know it's just my frustration...keep the comment coming...gotta stay strong
deleted_user
deleted_user
Only you can decide what is right and what is wrong for you.

I considered a "revenge" fling - but only for a brief moment. I could never bring myself to do that. A temporary bandiad would not make things better for me - but those are just my personal convictions.

I hope I don't come across as judgemental - that is why I said you have to decide what is right for YOU.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You must consider that it may be a "fling" to you but you could be hurting someone else in the process. Considering all your pain do you want to be responsible for inflicting pain on someone else?

Besides which it will mess with your head long after the action. You will second guess yourself. This person may know where you work and live and simply pop up anytime....things to truly think about....