Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi Friends,
I haven't been on here in a while but didn't have anywhere else to share my feelings.
So I've been dealing with a lot of emotions since my last "relationship" which I ended about a month ago. It's a classic story I guess...The guy made me believe he really liked me, but was playing mind games, using me for what he wanted etc. I didn't want to say goodbye to him, but I realized that all I was getting from it was pain. This was actually the second chance that I gave him because I had ended it a few months before. I believed things would be different and that he was genuine in his approach. My thought was, why else would he want me back? But I didn't realize that some people just play games with you.
So what followed were emotions of sadness, loneliness, wondering if something was wrong with me and so on. We remained Facebook friends after that. He kept liking my pictures, a status you know, Facebook stuff. At first I was sort of confused by it, but I told myself not to pay any attention to it because it's nothing really. If anything just another game. But one day, it hit me that this person treated me really badly. Why were we even friends online? Then I began to get angry.
I realized that I didn't deserve the way he treated me and I just can't seem to get past it. It's hard for me to accept that someone treated me like nothing when all I did was care for them. I don't want him back but I find myself full of anger and resentment. I deleted him from my account but I can't get over what he did to me.
I know this sort of thing happens everyday, but this is honestly the first time for me. I always meet the good guys. Any advice on how to deal with this anger is helpful.
I haven't been on here in a while but didn't have anywhere else to share my feelings.
So I've been dealing with a lot of emotions since my last "relationship" which I ended about a month ago. It's a classic story I guess...The guy made me believe he really liked me, but was playing mind games, using me for what he wanted etc. I didn't want to say goodbye to him, but I realized that all I was getting from it was pain. This was actually the second chance that I gave him because I had ended it a few months before. I believed things would be different and that he was genuine in his approach. My thought was, why else would he want me back? But I didn't realize that some people just play games with you.
So what followed were emotions of sadness, loneliness, wondering if something was wrong with me and so on. We remained Facebook friends after that. He kept liking my pictures, a status you know, Facebook stuff. At first I was sort of confused by it, but I told myself not to pay any attention to it because it's nothing really. If anything just another game. But one day, it hit me that this person treated me really badly. Why were we even friends online? Then I began to get angry.
I realized that I didn't deserve the way he treated me and I just can't seem to get past it. It's hard for me to accept that someone treated me like nothing when all I did was care for them. I don't want him back but I find myself full of anger and resentment. I deleted him from my account but I can't get over what he did to me.
I know this sort of thing happens everyday, but this is honestly the first time for me. I always meet the good guys. Any advice on how to deal with this anger is helpful.
There was a time after my split where I reacted immediately and spoke out. Not very politically correct just said what was on my mind. But for the most part of my life, I have been one that will take what others do to me and not say anything to them. I'll try to be nice still, try to be friends, etc. Just because that is the kind of guy I want to be. To be confident and strong enough to just move on. But I find that when I reflect back on some of the situations I have been a part of, I get mad or angry at the situation, then that person, then myself. I think that I shouldn't of let them treat me as they did. I think of things I wish I would have and should have said. That anger stays with me for a bit and usually, it comes out in unhealthy ways, redirecting my anger. Usually it is in ways that do or could do more harm to myself, not others, (ie. driving too fast, lashing out at my poor dog, etc).
So how to get past anger, depends on the situation. In this case, I would suspect if you had the chance to tell him your feelings now, to get it out to him how you really feel now that may help release some of the anger that is building up. And you may get that opportunity since you removed him from your Facebook as he may write and say "Why?"
If that happens, I would certainly take the opportunity to get your feelings out to him on paper. If you do get that chance, know what you are going to say and just remember this is for you and shouldn't be an attack at him. Its too late to throw things at him now. But you can get out what you need to, in a civil and considerate manner and let him know it didn't really hit you how crappy he treated you until now. Then close the door and walk away.
Then, continue to remember, what he did so to be stronger, not weaker. To not let him or anyone else disrespect you or treat you in any manner that is less then you deserve.
Many Blessings your way, my friend.