What you are feeling is normal. I was in your shoes too. I wanted the divorce and I was ok considering. THen the holidays came and I was a wreck. The Holidays bring a sense of love, family, togetherness and etc so it is perfectly normal to feel upset or even second guessing yourself. Be strong and enough the time with your family. When the holidays are done you will feel more "normal". I found it helpful to remember why I was getting divorced and then I snapped right out of it.
I myself still have not decorated for the holidays and I am not going to until I feel better about dealing with teh holidays.
Take your time with things and give yourself a change to go through the motions and feelings. YOu are going through the healing process. YOu will get back to a better place.

((HUGS)))

I feel the same way. this is my first holiday season completely alone. My friends and family lives 200 miles away. This is my first holiday season divorced. the divorce was not my idea.

I didn't celebrate halloween this year (my favorite holiday), cried at thanksgiving, and will probably cry throughout the remainder of the holiday season.

I will see my family at christmas, but have not decorated, put up a tree, and plan on just giving money for christmas. why bother.

I feel the same way. I haven't decorated, the tree is not up. There was no joy in picking out Christmas gifts. I just keep thinking of the fun and wonderful Christmas' past. Have to get those thoughts out of my head and concentrate on the present.

I hope my words are of some help to you. I'm also divorced but it was because I was selfish. I don't blame my ex, these poor choices were made all by my own and I get what you're saying about the holidays being a sad time. It feels that way for me as well, even as some people slowly accept me all over again.

Starting over is never easy, but you can get there. There will always be a feeling of regret for me at the holidays especially even as I patch up these relationships that were the best times of my life. I look at other couples and wish that was me, or even see families together and have a deep feeling of hurt as I see all this love around, and me flying solo. This feeling you're going through is normal, and I wish you can find your happy place soon.

im with you..

I am doing it because I have two children riding on my coat tails...they deserve it. It's a constant struggle to fake it until I make it. I will be very glad when it's over, and then will celebrate because I've survived it.

I've been crying all day today. Our son comes home from the Air Force next week and I do not know how I am going to hold up. I have not seen my stbx since I asked him to leave. I know sooner or later we are going to have to sit down together and figure our situation out but I have no idea when. Hopefully not when our son is home. I am depressed and I can/t believe this is my life. He cheated with a woman at my work and that alone is a nightmare. He took so much joy out of my life. I feel like there is no escape. Not at home and not at work. I think I liked the angry phase better.
I feel for all of you during this holiday season. It sure is rough!

Me too, first holidays alone... no tree or decorations.... the Christmas decoration aisles at stores make me want to cry.... I'm trying to just put one foot in front of the other, and believe this will get better. It is hard, I feel so alone... Our first date/kiss was on Christmas Eve, that probably doesn't help :(. Ugh. I'm just trying to take it easy on myself, let myself rest and cry, do what needs to be done and let the rest sort of slide.... Take care, hugs to you....

yeah, esp. the first one..

((((strength))))

Thanks all for your kind words and encourgement. The divorce has only been final for 2 months, and I forget that it is going to take time to get through all of these emotions. I just didn't expect the holidays to be so hard, but I will survive. I have to.

it is normal. this isnt my first holiday by myself - 2nd - but there is still that undercurrent there - even with all the mounting positives i have in my life.
i think holidays are so hard to begin with - regardless of being in a relationship or not. at least that is what i have found for me. i think part of my issues have to do with letting go of my toxic relationship with my parents.
i didnt push myself too far out of my comfort zone last year - i hope you dont either. if you miss one year of sending out holiday cards it will be ok. do something good for you - know that you are not alone in this.

xoxo