It is exhausting. I'm sorry he didn't respond.

I understand. My husband just moved out on Saturday. Told me he couldn’t be emotional like I need him to be. Says I deserved better, did this all over the phone. Said he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore and told me he is not going to change. At least your significant other was willing to try therapy, mine wasn’t. Must not of cared for me that much to plan a surprise move out!

@froggilips I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes the blessings come after the breakup. Mine went to therapy but I’m not sure he went to try perhaps just hear what I had to say. It was pointless if someone isn’t willing to do the work. This is Night two as I’m winding down for bed he is playing video games. He “asked” me tonight is it okay if he plays for a bit. I said sure. That will now turn into hours of gaming and him not returning to the bed and he will more than likely try to blame me in the morning. My heart is pretty much about to be done. When you love someone love should just come easy. And when it’s hard it is hard together. That’s what I think love is. Maybe because I’m a dreamer

Yeah we did therapy he said he was sorry and wanted it to work but he just lied was still seeing the woman whole time. Sometimes it just dragging it out.

It takes two to make a relationship work and if he’s not willing then there’s not much you can do. I tried everything but finally realized that I deserve better and so do you!

Hi there. So after counseling he stays downstairs? Is there any news on this? He either reconnects to the relationship or he doesnt. There is no happy medium!

I had to sleep on the floor because she says I snore. That's an ugly feeling

Marriage counseling was the best thing I did. It ended up being the final nail in the coffin, because he didn't do the homework (like yours) and "forgot" about appointments. He would still be dragging things out if I hadn't just finally (after 2 years of begging for change) given up and filed. His response to the marriage counseling was the truth I needed to see. His indifference spoke loud and clear.

I'm sorry for your situation. I will say that I'm in a much happier and peaceful state, now nearly 1 year post-divorce. The process was ugly, but he said from the start he would make it difficult - the one promise he ever kept. I hope you can come to a decision sooner rather than later.

How did you get him to go to therapy? My wife and I have been struggling for 3 years, more her than I. Three years in a row after I thought we have rekindled things she breaks out the “inhave to find my happiness”. She filled out an apartment app last week. It’s going to be hell for our 2 kids. Everyday they are saying how much they love our family....Fng killing me.
I have asked her to go to counseling but it’s the old saying from her “I have to fix myself before i work on us”.
I’m sorry things are going that way for you.
Best of luck.
A lot of good people on here!!!

Hi there. New to this site...been married 23 years this year. Got married young (19) had babies young eldest 21 youngest 15 my husband has been self obsorbed for most of my married life. Means well but doesn't communicate plus spends most of his time with his head in his phone playing games.

I have been the main care giver, cook, cleaner etc for as long as I can remember. Emotionally and physically exhausted.

I'm thinking I just may have to try counseling......but I feel too tired to care anymore. That makes me feel like a terrible person.

I agree if you love someone it should come easy. Sure life may through you some curve balls but your love should be what holds you together. I too just may be a dreamer though.....

Thinking of you. All the best!

Well I can say this he went to therapy. I would have been Super happy to have had that. But I am glad your your fighting for saving your marriage. I don't regret fighting right up until the very end. It's called taking the high road. I would be pissed though if she stepped to the table then not do anything. I would have been super hurt. I can feel that you are at this point. Keep doing what you are doing.

In the end, the only person we can work on is us. So many people are struggling in their relationships. I think it is because we "date" and move into relationships with unrealistic expectations and unhealthy boundaries. Then we marry and live our lives in power struggles that don't have to be. It is amazing the eye-opening things you learn when you go seeking what a healthy relationship actually looks like. And, as a Christian, I am amazed at the way the Bible come full circle and tells the truth about the order of things and the psychology of how relationships work.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm going through something similar. It's been brutal, I can't convince my wife to go to counselling though. For you I think this will be an illuminating experience, you will learn a lot about yourself and what you truly deserve! Everyone deserves happiness and he doesn't seem to be too concerned about yours. For me it has been tough to figure what happiness looks like as a single person(my wife and I were together for 13 years married for 5 - 2 kids 3 & 5). But the only thing I know is that I now have to deal with a new normal, and only I get to decide what that looks like. There is strength with that control.