Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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First Breakup

sunlitdays
sunlitdays

Hi everyone.


I very recently broke up with a guy I was dating for almost two months. It's the most serious relationship I've ever had, and I'm just so incredibly sad, even though it wasn't a long relationship. He's the first guy I allowed myself to open up to...and he just sort of became distant, which I could pick up on. I broke up with him because I didn't like the way he made me feel recently. 


So the thing is, even though I didn't like that he became distant recently, he's still the first guy I opened up to. I'm not in love with him, but I felt really close to him and I fear that I won't be able to do that again with someone else, and that I won't meet someone else, and that I'll be terribly sad for a long time. 


I know those are very unlikely scenarios, but, the heart... the heart takes the lead, not the brain and rationality. 


Any advice for the first breakup? I'm not a teenager, but I bet I sound like one. 


I'm just so sad. 

frckls22
frckls22
you did the brave thing and broke it off because you didn't like the way he made you feel. It will all be okay. breakups are hard. I myself believe time means nothing, you feel how you feel and the time invested is irrelevant. But YES, you will open up to someone again. and you will one day be in love with someone. I felt that way as well after my first ever relationship. it lasted four years then it ended badly. thought I could never love again, and I did! that relationship didn't work out either, but the point is, I know too (although I am sad and miss my most recent bf) that I will find love again after him as well. there are so many people in this world, I think sometimes we just forget that. Keep your head up
jojored
jojored
Ok, now that you've been able to open up to a guy, can you figure out why it had been so hard to get close to someone in the first place? Figuring out why you had been so emotionally unavailable is key to finding the next (healthy) relationship.

Good for you for ending a relationship which didn't suit you.
Biatta
Biatta
Why did yiu break up with a guy you like so much. What does it mean he became distant? There might be reasons. Did you talk ti him? Did you try to be patient enough..woman has to know to be patient. If you feel so sad, it means this guy has qualities you loved. Did you weight all positives and negatives? It so easy ti break up. It is so hard to find someone you can like again.
sunlitdays
sunlitdays
@frcklss22 - Thank you. I really hope I can do it again. I just want my stomach and heart to stop clenching and be so hurt. I want to forget him so I can move on, so I can be in a new relationship.
@jojored - It really just comes down to unfortunate timing and circumstances and acute shyness.
@Biatta - I broke up with him because when I asked him why he grew distant all of a sudden, he said he's not sure why, doesn't know...
But I think he did know, and just didn't want to tell me. He did have qualities that I liked.. but he made me feel really bad towards the end, and I don't think I deserved it. That's why I broke up with him.