Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm not sure if I'm doing this right...but I will try to explain my story as briefly as possible. I have been broken up with my ex for a little over 2 months now, and we dated for 3 years. For the most part, things were really great with us. We were extremely happy together and he was the love of my life.
When we met I was quite young, and I had been dealing with some difficult personal issues right before we met. I let him know about all of this when we met, though, and he was pretty understanding about it. I was just healing from some struggles of my own, and he really helped me in that process because he was like a new beginning and some sunlight in my darkness.
This summer I started a new adventure of my own in graduate school. This was causing a lot of anxiety and pressure for me, and things kind of blew up and I felt like I needed some space from him. I think the stuff I went through before I met him caused me to be very vulnerable and put up walls in certain situations. This was really confusing for me and I needed some time to sort through things. It was extremely hard to do this without him, and I knew it was hurting him, which was torture for me. But I felt like I had no other choice.
So I started seeing a counselor and working through some of the things....trying to piece together what was affecting me and how. During this time I really tried to keep space from him and do this on my own. We talked and I kept him filled in on what I was thinking about and discovering, but we didnt have much contact. This eventually got too hard for him and he said we needed to break up...I agreed because I didn't want him to feel hurt or angry, and I knew it had been really hard for the both of us.
My view of the breakup was that it would be better for the time being, but that we both loved each other very much and would keep in contact and try to work through things. A couple weeks later we had a conversation and he basically told me he doesnt love me anymore, that I wasn't a good girlfriend to him, that he feels more like himself without me and is better off, and that he never sees a future with me again. This was a complete 180. I was caught off guard and shocked. It really really hurt.
So I haven't contacted him since then and it's been an excruciating couple months. I am in school, working, and busy, but I feel down all of the time. Nights are horrible, and I cry a lot. I just miss him terribly and have a hard time letting go. I just generally don't feel good about myself.
I know that a three year relationship and break up cant be summed up in a small post like this, but my counselor suggested I try some online support groups, as well. I have a great support in my family and friends, but sometimes I feel like I am burdening them with all of this. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and I hope that through all of you I can find some strength and hopefully share some of mine with you (sadly this isnt the first time I have been through a tough breakup!)....that gives me some wisdom to offer- ah...the silver lining.
When we met I was quite young, and I had been dealing with some difficult personal issues right before we met. I let him know about all of this when we met, though, and he was pretty understanding about it. I was just healing from some struggles of my own, and he really helped me in that process because he was like a new beginning and some sunlight in my darkness.
This summer I started a new adventure of my own in graduate school. This was causing a lot of anxiety and pressure for me, and things kind of blew up and I felt like I needed some space from him. I think the stuff I went through before I met him caused me to be very vulnerable and put up walls in certain situations. This was really confusing for me and I needed some time to sort through things. It was extremely hard to do this without him, and I knew it was hurting him, which was torture for me. But I felt like I had no other choice.
So I started seeing a counselor and working through some of the things....trying to piece together what was affecting me and how. During this time I really tried to keep space from him and do this on my own. We talked and I kept him filled in on what I was thinking about and discovering, but we didnt have much contact. This eventually got too hard for him and he said we needed to break up...I agreed because I didn't want him to feel hurt or angry, and I knew it had been really hard for the both of us.
My view of the breakup was that it would be better for the time being, but that we both loved each other very much and would keep in contact and try to work through things. A couple weeks later we had a conversation and he basically told me he doesnt love me anymore, that I wasn't a good girlfriend to him, that he feels more like himself without me and is better off, and that he never sees a future with me again. This was a complete 180. I was caught off guard and shocked. It really really hurt.
So I haven't contacted him since then and it's been an excruciating couple months. I am in school, working, and busy, but I feel down all of the time. Nights are horrible, and I cry a lot. I just miss him terribly and have a hard time letting go. I just generally don't feel good about myself.
I know that a three year relationship and break up cant be summed up in a small post like this, but my counselor suggested I try some online support groups, as well. I have a great support in my family and friends, but sometimes I feel like I am burdening them with all of this. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and I hope that through all of you I can find some strength and hopefully share some of mine with you (sadly this isnt the first time I have been through a tough breakup!)....that gives me some wisdom to offer- ah...the silver lining.
It seems like you are doing all that you can for yourself. You're in school and you are seeing a counselor. Keep doing both of those, don't quit. If you have any free time at night, which is the hardest time, try to find a hobby to fill it with. I've been picking my guitar back up lately. I hate the nights. I don't sleep well and sometimes have nightmares about the whole situation.
Hang in there. Keep working through this. Process your grief and make sure you grow from it. Don't rush into something new just to make the pain go away temporarily.
No contact is the way to speed things along to healing.
I wish you the very best and good for you, continuing your education.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))
Keep up what you are doing and try to keep your mind busy.
Read other posts and journals so you can help out other people. Helping others always helps you as well.
You have found a place where you will always find a helping hand. Keep up the great work.
Big Hug