Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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rbsingle1959 09/06/2011

Well HE did it. Seperated for one full year after 22 yrs of marriage. He just got up one day and walked out of my life as I was away on a weekend retreat. He went back to an ex girlfriend from 22 yrs ago to rekindle it all. I was wondering what he planned to do with me. Well he served me divorce papers finally at my place of work. I had mixed emotions. I was shocked, more hurt, numb, relieved, sad that it was going to finally be all over. A man I thought was my best friend turned out to be my enemy. So why do i feel like crap if this is what i wanted? If this is something sooner or later was going to take place? Somehow I wish it would have been me to divorce him but I allowed him to do it since I did not want to pay it out. So he gets to hurt me again. How should I feel?

hurtinandhealin2560 09/06/2011

I'm so sorry he's hurt you again. At this point, I hope you've spoken to an attorney to see what your rights are.

You might want to check out the Divorce After 20 Years group on DS. Lots of good advice there for people who have been in long-term marriage.

It's understandable that you will feel a range of emotions right now.

Sending loads of hugs!

deleted_user 09/06/2011

I tooked the kids to a game night at church on Friday 3 weeks ago. I learned on sat that my wife of 14 yrs used that free time friday night to file for divorce. I think no matter the situation, divorce is painful and you have the feeling of not being wanted. Even if you saw it coming or wanted it, not being wanted is a painful thing.

Moscato 09/06/2011

I also recommend the Divorced Over 20 years group of which I am a member. Your story sounds similar to mine. Ater 25 years of marriage, my husband reconnected with his college sweetheart and began an affair. When I found out about it I was devastated. I begged him to end it, but he refused. I finally kicked him out. That was 2 years ago. He filed for divorce one year ago. The divorce is not final; we are still working through the settlement. I am doing well on the surface (working, spending time with friends and family, etc), but on the inside I feel a profound sense of loss and sadness. I NEVER thought. in a million years that I would be in this position. Until this happened, he was actually a pretty good husband. I thought we had a good life together. He never communicated his unhappiness with me and he put on a very good front. It's gotten easier, but I still have a lot of anger and hurt that I'm trying to work through. Counseling has helped alot. I wonder if I will ever feel truly happy again.

deleted_user 09/06/2011

As far as I see, everything you are feeling is justified. I'm so sorry. Guess the old adage time heals all wounds is true, but sometimes it seems to take forever.

deleted_user 09/07/2011

Mine took up with an old gf. Kicked me out , moved her in. I have told him 4 times now to file for divorce.
It's been a year mid month. I know I will have to be the one to file. sigh.
((hugs)) .
I don't think it matters that you did or didn't want it. The Pain of it is going to be there no matter what. They just rip the life right out from under us, by cheating, We are left to try and pick up the pieces. ugh
when I file, i will file a fee waiver. sure to be granted since i have nothing and he gives so little, average is $100 a month,
good Luck to You.

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