Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey guys,
haven't been here in a while, needless to say I've been doing well until the last 5 months. Started dating a girl about a year ago and things were great, fell in love, did everything together. I started to feel like I was missing a lot of sutff. My nephew was born, and she was mad at me for wanting to be home for more than a day...My family didnt really care for her and visa versa.
I thought things could get better but everyday I just kept thinking, I'm stuck, I'll never get out and I have to make the best of it. It made me resent her but there were still times i felt love and compassion for her. The cuteness. I love that.
We have been living at a friends and she's about fed up with the friend and wants to move out. Today she asked if we were moving in together and I told her no. She basically broke it off right then and there. I stuck up for myself and found my foot on some solid ground. I know that sounds awesome, right?
Well now all I can feel is sadness and remorse because I do care about her and I'm going to miss the good, cute, loving times. I feel like a fool in so many different ways. I just want to be happy.
haven't been here in a while, needless to say I've been doing well until the last 5 months. Started dating a girl about a year ago and things were great, fell in love, did everything together. I started to feel like I was missing a lot of sutff. My nephew was born, and she was mad at me for wanting to be home for more than a day...My family didnt really care for her and visa versa.
I thought things could get better but everyday I just kept thinking, I'm stuck, I'll never get out and I have to make the best of it. It made me resent her but there were still times i felt love and compassion for her. The cuteness. I love that.
We have been living at a friends and she's about fed up with the friend and wants to move out. Today she asked if we were moving in together and I told her no. She basically broke it off right then and there. I stuck up for myself and found my foot on some solid ground. I know that sounds awesome, right?
Well now all I can feel is sadness and remorse because I do care about her and I'm going to miss the good, cute, loving times. I feel like a fool in so many different ways. I just want to be happy.
You mentioned a couple of big red flags (her not being ok w/you being gone for more than a day; you feeling like you were missing out on stuff and the discord between her and your family. You did good by paying attention to them. That is an awesome thing, just as sticking up for yourself and finding your footing on solid ground are also awesome things.
Please take the time to honor and feel your feelings. Its the only way to get past the pain & sadness.
You will be happy. Happiness doesn't come from another person. It comes from within. And you will find that happiness once you have grieved your losses.
~healing hugs~
I've just ended a relationship that I was in for NINE years where I had those same feelings. You have to listen to the cues that your relationship has been giving you all along and not trust the immediate feelings of sadness and remorse. If you stick with it, those feelings will fade sooner than you think, just keep reminding yourself of the valid reasons you have had in less emotional times. You are probably a very logical person and try to make the best out of a lot of things. That's great when you are dealing with unpleasant things, but not great when you are in a relationship. All aspects of a relationship don't have to be bad for it to need to end. That's the regrettable part. Sometimes we have to leave the good with the bad because in the balance of things we will be better off.
Hang in there, grieve the loss but look for opportunities to give yourself a break from it too.
I agree with MyTrueColors and Dragonfly,
We are all on the road of healing and it takes time--even when the person we were with wasn't the most excellent match for us.
For instance, I miss my husband dearly. But I know that our relationship was very unhealthy and that his drug use made it impossible for us to ever be healthy.
In our society we are always trying to jolly one another out of sadness--but there are stages in life--particularly with loss--where grieving is the only path to healing.
On this path, be courageous just like you were to tell your girlfriend you weren't moving in together. Happiness is down the road apiece.