I've been posting more than I have in a while on here. Today was our final court date (caseflow, so no actual court) and our parenting agreement and child support agreement is completed. We spent a good chunk of the morning together, which is fine. I was ok with it.

After though she asked if I was complete around our split (as in did I have anything that I needed to discuss). I initially told her I was, and that anything that wasn't complete was for me to figure out.

Of course this opened a discussion around it all. I really did not want to discuss things with her, I know how she felt and I know her beliefs around why she felt like she needed to leave. I really didn't want to rehash things. 

What came out of it was her telling me that she beleived that his is the way it had to be. I asked her why and she said because she did not feel like we could get to that point of happiness together that she felt a couple should be at.

She also said she felt like I felt that she never cared about how I felt about things and she made decisions and didn't care what I thought about it. I wanted to tell her that it was proven when she left me for another man.

Like I said though, there was no point in rehashing anything. She knows I felt like she gave up on us, and I know she felt like there was no hope for us.

Part of me wants to send her an article about the 5 stages of love http://menalive.com/stages-of-love/ as well as a study on marital happiness and how a large portion of couples who rated low on a happiness scale, actually had improved happiness 5 or so years later. 

I'm not going to. I have no interest in arguing my point. It will just come accross as me trying to make her wrong (and that is really what I would be doing). Really I just want to prove to her that it is possible, that this is not how it had to be (but obviously it is, as this is how it turned out lol) and that there is always hope, there are always choices to improve. 

I did share with her that my belief about myself is that I am a fairly self-aware person and I am not stuck to being one way or another.

My core belief around this is that she found someone else and she felt as though that's how she was supposed to feel during a relationship. It's easy to feel like everything is awesome with someone new when its all new relationship energy and you don't have 10 years of raising two kids and wading through lifes muck!

I am happy that all the court stuff is over though. That chapter is officially over and I might get some wine and have a few drinks tonight to celebrate these new changes.