Everything will work itself out.....it always has to.....quit beating yourself up for what happened along time ago......Cheer up.....I too have older children and sometimes its worse for the older ones to see you sad than the little ones......big ones can't do anything to help. :(

It's ok to cry when you feel that a part of your dream is dying. Try to baby step your way through and be the best person you can be. rust that eventually everything will work out ok.

I am trying but today I just hurt because my husband was served.I was so good about not contacting him but his silence is playing with my head. I think he wants me to start wondering why and chase him and beg him to come back. I just need to pray for God to help me be quiet and not try to reason with a man who is so out of normalcy. i am only banging my head against a wall. Ps...i did hurt him again within the past 3 years with an emotional affair. he ended up rebounding with another woman.

We just have cause each other too much pain.

thank you so much for listening and trying to help me.

((((((hugs)))))))

:-( i know. it's so hard. sounds like you are in the beginning of it all, and things will get better for you after some time. we are here for you!

Glad you came here its soo helpful. We have all been where you are not sleeping or eating, barely making it through a work day, waking up thinking oh its just a bad dream only to find that its real. It wont make any sense to you now but you will get better. At the moment you just need to feel what you feel, cry get angry get happy and do it all over and over again. Thats why the term roller coaster comes up so often we are all on it some further on than others . But here you can cry, vent be a happy and we all are here with you. Try if you can to look after yourself:-)

I am at the end of the required year's separation for my state so I relate to what you are feelin at this time. Hugs. It does ease off with time. Just keep being an inspiration to yourself, do what you have to for yourself, no matter what it is. Just keep puttin one foot in front of the other.

Cissy,

You sound a lot like me when you say that he was there for you and did nice things, but on the other hand he was mean also. My husband just left me 2 months ago.....and I've decided it's for the best. He probably treated my Mom better than me. I could always reach him, but now he'll turn the phone off. ....but, I'm feeling better and know that in the long run, this is for the best. Hang in there. Like they say, take care of yourself. It's not selfish to do that.

I'm right at the beginning of this awful process and like you, there are times I just sit and cry for the end of my marriage - 30 years in my case. As others have said, this site is such a wonderful resource for us, so keep reading other people's posts, and writing yours
Stay connected to this community, we can all help each other feel supported

I wish I knew how to reply to each one of you individually. Thank u 4 your support. Today and yesterday were very bad days. I cried today in my basement where all my husband's workshop was. He really did love me and still does I know it, but I have hurt him and he is an addict right now. It hurts so badly. I don't want to hurt like this anymore. I went to try to see him, only to get my daughter's car key to get her car fixed b/c he barely answers his phone. When I got to where he his staying his brother said he never came home. I want to think he went to a friends house and did drugs rather than the alternative "another woman" to help ease the pain of losing me.

I was doing so well until he was served. He used to send me texts up until a couple of weeks ago trying to reach me to tell me he loves me but b/c he is an addict and won't get help I have to move forward with my life. This hurts b/c I still love him and don't want to do this. I don't want to hurt anymore.

It might not be much consolation, Cissy, but I really do understand. I'm going through a very similar situation also.

TiredandHopeless...not sure I replied but it is of consolation, especially from someone who has similar feelings.

I just wanted to get throough work today. I felt like I needed to cry again. I shed a couple tears on the way home. My husband called me today after no contact for 24 hourse but we barely have been communicating. One or two texts in several days. Anyway, he made his voice sound like he was fine and he tried to act normal even though he is in debt, has no money, left me living here with my son to pay all the bills he paid. the thing is he was such a good husband in so many ways. I miss that. I miss him, but I don't miss his behavior problems.

How are you today?

I'm having a bad day too, missing my husband so much, love him so much . So lonely without him

Someone told me that during a divorce even the right decisions are so difficult and painful. I think this is what you might be going through. I feel this way as well--I don't want to be alone, divorced, had great times with my ex, but in the end he was lying and unable to change. It's not what I wanted, but you also don't want to be with someone who treats you like that. Take care, and remember that things get better over time!