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Feelings of Bitterness

bwell05
bwell05
Its coming up on three months since my fianc broke up with me. Lately, I feel bitter when thinking about being in a relationship again. I definitely am not planning on dating anytime soon. So have others felt this feeling of bitterness? I think Im feeling bitter because Im scared that one day I will have to open myself again and thats terrifying to me as the pain Im feeling from this breakup I dont want to experience again. Thoughts?
JennsJo
JennsJo
Ugh...I can understand where you're coming from. But sometimes after a relationship you have to just get back in the saddle and give someone a chance. I know it's hard after you've been hurt. As was with the law of attraction just try to think positive and positive things will come to you. You've Got this :-)
sakuraowl
sakuraowl
Oh yes , bitterness . My husband and I were married for 23 years and three months ago out of the blue he said he wanted to do his own thing and that our marriage was a "good experience" ... I don't know if it is bitterness or anger mostly toward him I am feeling. I think mostly anger. I have no interest in finding someone new . I told myself I wouldn't even consider dating again for a year or two. I need time to find myself again . I have no interest in having a mate in my life . Who knows maybe never. This pain was not worth all the love I found with him at the beginning. I don't want to feel it again. I don't want anyone to have that power to hurt me like that again.
The day you don't feel scared to open yourself up again to Love is the day you will be ready to. Don't worry about it too much right now. Just focus on making your life greater and find happiness in all the small things and big things in life that have nothing to do with a mate.
happymama2j
happymama2j
Yes I have experienced bitterness, over many aspects of my divorce, and some that still continues because my Ex is an alcoholic but is still in my son's life, so there are still many unresolved issues there.

I think it is a normal feeling. Recognize it and embrace it for what it means. I think you are right, that you are not ready to open up to someone new, and that is more than OK!!!

You experienced a big loss, and with that comes the grief process, as it would after a death. Grief isn't just for death, it is for all sorts of loss. You just work through your feelings, at your pace, and you will get there one day.

I am definitely not a supporter of the "get back out there" mentality. It is good after a breakup to take time to love and support yourself. Jumping into a relationship without fully healing leaves you open to settling for less than you deserve. AND, it is NOT fair to others who are ready to date, for those of us who still need to heal to come along and bring all of our baggage with us. That is a way to hurt someone else without ever meaning to. Wait until you are healed. When you feel healthy and happy on your own, then there will be time for dating. Be gentle with yourself, do nice things for yourself, you will get there one day. It is not a race. You sound very wise to realize that you are not yet ready.
(HUGS)