Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I havent spoken to my husband for 2 days. We separated in May. We spoke, and even had sexually intimacy soon after we separated. During the month of June, my main goal was to work with him to keep our marriage afloat. He kept insisting he missed me, but he didnt want to be with me, he didnt want to live with me.
So during this time he has started seeing someone. I knew he would. he cant be alone. I've dealt with it, and actually waited for the moment he would tell me he was seeing someone. Well last week, he took my daughter to the park and i found out he introduced my daughter to his new girlfriend and her daughter. I WASNT READY FOR THIS STEP. GOD MY HEART HURTS JUST Admitting this again. Like i said, I was waiting to work on us after he had this little freedom.
I tried to explain to him that i felt he was ripping my daughter away from me. I had an anxiety attack. He talked me down out of my attack. However the next day, he came over, gave me a hug, and touched me physically as my husband. I asked him to not break my heart again.
The remainder of the day, he did not message me at all. He went out that evening with his new gf and didnt pay me another thought. I felt absolutely horrified!!
What is this? What is this game? I actually have tears again just repeating this !!
He messaged me saturday and said Hi, how r u? He had no clue what feelings i was going thru. On sunday i sent him an email saying i felt sexually abused and used by him. I said I felt he harmed my daughter emotionally by introducing her to the new woman. She has told me that she didnt like the woman becuause i knew it was dadddys new GF.
His reply was "I'm understood. I will leave you guys alone. I want my iMac back and I wont bother you again. It will be over."
He didnt reply to anything regarding our emotional duress. And what the heck does "Im understood" mean??
What is anyones thoughts???
"I feel sexually used and abused by you"
" You abused our daugther emotionally, and she doesn't like your new girl because its daddies new gf".
- So, he simply bowed out! Why, bc there is no chase just a guilt trip. So, he just played reverse psychology on you. And WILL try to sleep with you again. I've been there. Men love to chase, so my guess is he likes this new girl more than she likes him. Another question is has this always been your marriage, always guilt tripping eachother? If so, its not going to work to save it. The best way to save it is to let it go! Sounds crazy right?
Men love a good chase, so I'd say be cordial with him. Nice, not nagging, polite, don't sleep with him. When he wants to see your daughter have him speak to her and ask her if she feels comfortable going to see Dad? Lol, if she says "No, I don't want to be around his new girlfriend" tell your husband you're so sorry that your daughter feels uncomfortable and you will talk to her and help her to overcome her discomfort with the situation. You will have his ass eating out of your palms. Holding on to your every word. When he text you "Hi how are you"? You can reply something along the lines of "I'm doing great have tons of errands to run today, wish I had more time to talk hope you're having a great day talk to you later". Just always seem very busy! It hurts now but you're going to have to do with the first user said, focus on you and your daughter. I do see a good outcome here, but you're going to have to set some health boundaries when he comes back! Sit and watch it unfold. And focus on being happy in the moment and start focusing on the things that you love to do in life and let that take up the rest of your space. And show your gratitude and blessings will come to you.