Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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19-heartbroken-73 03/25/2017

My husband of 17 years told me a month ago that he doesn't love me and wants a divorce. Tonight he went out. He was going to wash the car and then he was maybe meeting up with a buddy of his, but it wasn't confirmed yet. I said "so if you aren't meeting up with him are you coming home?" He said "It's none of your business anymore what I do. I can do what ever I want." He didn't know what he was going to do...he was just "going out". He said he'd be back in a couple of hours. It's been 3 now.

I get that he "doesn't need to tell me anything", but we are still living together and we haven't told anyone yet. We haven't told out daughter yet. He only left our bed 2 nights ago because she is now in Europe for 3 months.

I'm sure he's meeting up with a woman. He's acting just like he did a few years ago when he was cheating on me. I think it would be easier if he was just truthful with me for once. Rather than me sitting here guessing what he's doing and with who.

I can't even imagine thinking of starting to date someone. Not at least until we are actually officially separated and living in different places. Even then I think it will be a while. Doesn't he realize what this is doing to me? How can he after 22 years of being together not even care a little bit about what I'm going through?

I'm just feeling so down and alone. When will I stop loving him and caring about him? My heart hurts so much. I could never treat him like this.

RMM 03/25/2017

I'm sorry your going through this. I've been down this road with a cheating spouse. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will stop hurting. You will feel so much better when it's finally over. What he is doing right now just shows what little regard he does have for you and the years you gave to him. Stay strong you will get through this. My advice is to get out or get him out as soon as possible it's very hard for healing to begin when you still live together and it's only going to make things so much harder on you because he so clearly doesn't care and you still do. My heart goes out to you, just try as much as you can to focus on you and your healing.

mirandac 03/26/2017

Get a good lawyer and protect yourself from him
financially and to watch your back. Therapy will be
very helpful and divorce care helps with the grieving
and divorce process.

I agree one of you should move out and you need to
start Detaching from him and go no contact as much
As possible. I really do hope you are in therapy to help
you cope and Get thru this. I would Wait on dating until
divorced And healed, HUGS

Nick2017 03/27/2017

so sorry, you are not alone. also its not easy.. there is no easy way out....you gave your heart to some one you trusted the most.. basically he is holding your emotional well-being.. now he takes it and smash it on the ground to thousand pieces so the pain is imaginable....

But there is a cure. it is to love yourself (not trying to be narcissistic but it's true) do things that makes u happy. and make sure to take care of your health...think of this is maybe a blessing. you dont have to cook for him anymore.

19-heartbroken-73 03/27/2017

Thanks everyone. It was a tough night. He got home after 3.5 hours. Said he went for coffee and drove around with a "friend" to talk. I didn't ask who although it's killing me to know if it's one of our mutual friends or someone he just met. But I know it's better for me to not think about it and move on. But it still hurts.

Chatsworth 03/27/2017

I know how you felt. My man has done that in the past, just walked out then come back later.
I found out my man has Alexithymia traits,{not officially diagnosed] it comes under the autism spectrum.
I think its worth doing an online autism/ aspergers test on your husband to find out his personality type or talk to your GP. He doesn't seem to be an empath. It's not easy to be with someone like this. Take care and keep posting.

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