These are the kinds of things that will make your next relationship better. If we can honestly admit what we did, and learn from that, then we grow stronger within ourselves and next time we are given an opportunity, we won't do those things again. Try to forgive yourself. You are human, and as such fallible. We all make mistakes, they are lessons to grow. Some people never admit to helping end the relationship at all, so you are ahead of that game, and can start to heal. We can't ever go back and get a redo, but we can take our new lessons with us into making better decisions for our future. Please don't make the mistake of thinking he had nothing to do with the demise, and taking all the blame on yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself, learn the lessons of this one, to better prepare you for the next one! Healing hugs, Kimmee

You have just written exactly how I feel.
The only difference is he didn't do anything to fix the relationship, I did it, but I still feel guilty and responsible.

You've overcome the first and most valuable step (in my book). Taking responsibility for your role in the breakup.
Don't beat yourself up about because just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to stuff things up.

He will realise in his own time his own mistakes and shortcomings. He may seem to have moved on, but I am sure he still has some emotions about the breakup. I been hiding behind the "everything's fine, I'm going great, have moved on, cheers pal" facade for a while now. Hoping he doesnt know just how much I am hurting.

What I have done in the past is written him a letter (no postage stamp required). I have explained all my feelings, anxieties and guilt related to the breakup. I ask his forgiveness.
Then I do a mental exercise where I imagine myself with him (in a very neutral place) I read him my letter, ask for forgiveness and imagine a favourable response from him. He in turn reads me his letter (everything I want to hear) and apologises.
We can part ways with a lighter load.

I do this quite regularly actually because once is not really enough for me.
But I get through it that way.
I also imagine bumping into him in the future and not having that gut-wrenching nausea hit me, but a friendly and confortable hello.

That's my advise anywho!
Works for me (most days)

Good luck and keep looking forward! Your futre is ahead of you not behind you!

Huge hugs
Lizzy

You have just written exactly how I feel.
The only difference is he didn't do anything to fix the relationship, I kept trying, but I still feel guilty and responsible.

You've overcome the first and most valuable step (in my book). Taking responsibility for your role in the breakup.
Don't beat yourself up about because just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to stuff things up.

He will realise in his own time his own mistakes and shortcomings. He may seem to have moved on, but I am sure he still has some emotions about the breakup. I've been hiding behind the "everything's fine, I'm going great, have moved on, cheers pal" facade for a while now. Hoping he doesn't know just how much I am hurting.

What I have done in the past is written him a letter (no postage stamp required). I have explained all my feelings, anxieties and guilt related to the breakup. I ask his forgiveness.
Then I do a mental exercise where I imagine myself with him (in a very neutral place) I read him my letter, ask for forgiveness and imagine a favourable response from him. He in turn reads me his letter (everything I want to hear) and apologises.
We can part ways with a lighter load.

I do this quite regularly actually because once is not really enough for me.
But I get through it that way.
I also imagine bumping into him in the future and not having that gut-wrenching nausea hit me, but a friendly and comfortable hello.

That's my advice anywho!
Works for me (most days)

Good luck and keep looking forward! Your future is ahead of you not behind you!

Huge hugs
Lizzy

It takes 2 to make a relationship work.
And it is rarely undone by one person alone.

I am sure you feel bad right now. But think of what you did right as well.

For me, I have the same feelings, but I have allowed myself to accept that I made mistakes, tried to fix them, and she would not accept them and she left.

In the end it is her loss. I loved her and really wanted to make her happy. She won't find that around every corner.

Strum,

It is hard, but we need to forgive ourselves.

forgive us our trespasses (against ourselves)

RR99

Thanks guys :)..Days like these are very hard to cope with alone..When I think about my soul and what i am feeling I imagine it to be torn in a thousand pieces..How will i get them thogheter..Thank you for all the help..Being on DS really helps me sort thing out..

Love your soul.

It's the only we have when we enter this world, and it is the only thing we take back out.