hang in there, there is no easy answer. do what you think is best for you and your kids.

It doesn't sound like he's committed to the relationship. Are you in therapy? It has really helped me find clarity. I also highly recommend reading "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway." We often make decisions based on fear when our worst worries have little basis in reality. Hugs :)

I'm not in therapy but I have been thinking about it . I have been too stressed lately hopefully it will help out. thanks for the advice:)

My heart goes out to you. That is indeed very difficult situation. I stayed together too long with first ex for the kid's sake.
Nl2016 agreed, do what is best for her and kids.
I agree with trublue as well in that he is not committed. You said he doesn't come home for days? Not acceptable by any means. I am sure if you didn't have kids involved your course of action would be a no brainer.
If you don't mind me asking are all 5 children biologically his? If you were to try to separate is the biggest challenge financial or for sake of children? Obviously the challenge isn't due to needing physical help when it sounds like you may already be doing 90% yourself.
Best wishes Jenno! You certainly have some tough decisions to address!

We have 4 together biologically but my oldest hes been in her life since she was 4 so that's definitely her dad . About separating its challenging for me because the kids love him and he does no wrong in their eyes its killing me though emotionally and physically . He helps pay bills and we only have one car that of course he owns I feel like I'm stuck but I cant do it anymore I'm tired. After him being out for 2 days he comes home to sleep and now is back out I have no idea where he is and with whom but its too much already. tired of being unhappy.

Firstly I would like to say that with 3 stepdaughters for 10 years I understand the meaning of still Dad regardless of biological circumstances. I asked more due to financial circumstances. If there was another father that could have financial assistance from.
Regarding the financial maybe while he is gone start exploring other means to be able to support children and yourself. Much easier said than done I understand.
Kids seeing no wrong, that is the toughest one. Hard to do what is right for you and kids when you don't want to create any resentment from them. That said at some point unless he is willing to maybe try counseling with you and help in relationship you need to understand that you can only sacrifice you happiness for the kids sake so much and address your own happiness as well. Again, easier said than done.

Its so hard especially around the holidays but I have to do what needs to be done a person can take so much .. Thank you for your advice I'm glad I joined this group it feels good to vent to people that understand what your going through:)

Your situation reminds me of my niece, she also had a fiancee and 4 kids (3 his). Things didn't end well and she's surviving OK, living with her mom. She's pulled herself up, it was very hard as he was spiteful, kept her stuff, kept the kids stuff, basically screwed her. The difference here is that this guy was an a$$hole to the kids, especially the one he didn't father and the newborn (down's syndrome baby) who he wanted nothing to do with. The favorite two kids, well he tired of them and kicked them out eventually. The oldest is in 6th grade, the youngest is not even 2. So sad. Be strong, don't let fear hold you back. What you BF is doing is so disrespectful to you and to the family. He's already gone. I hope you can seek out your legal recourse, in terms of child support. Even if you don't use this information, figure out how you can obtain CS if you need to. Good luck, kiss those babies.

Your absolutely right his is gone already I just need to stop trying to hold on its just hard my mother passed away 6 years ago I have my sister but I don't want to burden her . I will be strong though an soon hopefully get everything figured out .

Gosh, I'm sorry you are going through this tough situation. I can understand why you feel stressed! Have you tried talking to him about it? I think it is always good to try to work things out. It's not always easy, but it is worth it!

I have tried talking to him multiple times and his response is hes sorry hes going to change but nothing . At this point I think I'm done trying I'm mentally exhausted .

This may be a hard pill to swallow but if he is acting like a young teenager that means he is more than likely seeing other women. You don't leave your wife at home for days at a time. where is he sleeping during this time? There is more than likely a woman letting him sleep on her couch or in her bed. Find the strength to try and move on. Don't lower yourself to his standards.