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Feeling sick

ripped_my_heartout
ripped_my_heartout

Just spent the weekend with my stomach all in knots. My stbx and her new man of 3 weeks, went to the lake in his trailer for the weekend. Now that's not what is bothering me. What bothers me is they took my daughter. This is the 4th man my daughter has met since we split 7 months ago. Going to the trailer with them is a little to soon for me. 



Maybe it is jealousy. I don't care if she's with a man, she was with men during our marriage so why the hell would I care about that...I don't...she disgusts me and is nothing but filth. I'm jealous because I feel this new guy of the month is poaching time away from my daughter and I. Time I'd like to spend with her. Time he doesn't deserve to have right now.



Why my stbx is introducing men into my kids lives so quickly is beyond me. Usually when stbx goes out for the weekend that's when I get extra time with my daughter. This time my daughter went and it really bugged me all weekend. Even though they are home now it still is bugging me a bit. She just keep pushing a replacement Dad on my kids. My stbx can not settle down, nothing and nobody can ever make her happy. She is to selfish. 



Anyways, not sure what I'm trying to say here other than it bothers me. I feel all these men are on my territory. In my house, fixing things I used to fix. Sleeping in my old bed, my old room, spending time with my kids. I really hate her. I hope karma comes for her hard

Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
You may not realize it but your kids are victims too but unless you let some other feelings show they may get confused by your feelings that you try not to let show but that doesn't work. Love your kids without question and get an arrangement of who gets kids when and what the rules are. Right now for me with divorce trial this next week I am very confused and anxious. None of us chooses to be involved with someone only to find out we are not the person they wanted. Do the best you can, your kids know and deserve not to be used by anyone.
jojored
jojored
Yikes, it is not healthy for your kids to be exposed to her flavor of the month. Are these guys sleeping over when your kids are there? Is there a way you can point this out to her, so that she realizes it's damaging to them? Point her to some articles or a book? Can someone intervene for you, someone she respects and trusts? If I were in your place I would be furious. Also, see if you can have some language in the custody agreement which prohibits sleepovers by other men when the kids are at her house. Not that she'd abide by it, but you have to try, and maybe you could enforce this and get more time with your children.
ripped_my_heartout
ripped_my_heartout
*jojored* yes she has guys sleeping over all the time. My kids have heard her having sex with them. She has zero class. You can not tell her or point anything out to her. She is a narcissist and will listen to no one but herself.
I have actually reached out to her parents but they are the type that just stays out of it. They say they don't want to get involved. Her father is narcissistic too.

I am furious...I have been for sometime and at the moment I seem powerless. So far it's been a fight just to get her to respond to my lawyers letters. Just delays.
Dandelion
Dandelion
Yikes is right.

The only advice I can give you is gather all the evidence and proof that you can, without involving your kids of course, and take her to court and let a judge handle it.

That's the only way you can set limits on her behavior.
stardust7
stardust7
I agree with Dandelion-keep notes with dates so you have something to show when you see a judge. Be steady for your child and seek advice from counselors or clergy on how to talk about this with your daughter to help her through this confusing time.

I was in your shoes about a year ago and my ex finally screwed up with the longest shack-up man she's had since leaving...now she has to face her family/friends and has to sleep on a friend's couch in the process. Give it time....karma will get her. Take care of yourself and your daughter. Sending out good vibes...