Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My ex and I had been dating for two years. We have had our ups and downs and have been rocky as of recently. Basically we got into arguments about what Akins of houses we would want, whether or not we would send our kids to camps, him complaining how dogs belong outside and me trying to stand up for our relationship by asking him to set up boundaries with his mom. We have both broken up with each other in the last couple of months. He always said we would be friends and that he always had my back. He has done so much for me and has been there through all my struggles. He went on a trip and pretended everything was ok said he loved me and made plans for the weekend. Upon his return he broke up with me via email and said he would speak to me in a few weeks. I don't believe he has any intent on doing so. I feel like crap. I have blamed myself over and over and over. Sometimes wishing I just disappeared. I have done everything in recent months to make things better. I don't know what I did to make a man who I have spent everyday with not even want to speak to me. I hate life and I hate myself. This man was seriously the best to me and I feel like I wore him out with my medical problems and job problems. I blame this all on myself. I can't function without closure. I need peace.
you may have had a lot to do with him bugging out
but i think not so much
you won't get closure, you won't understand
but there is a danger that you will put all of this on yourself
...that is just flat out incorrect
him going on the trip and hiding what his intentions were is deceitful and all of the deceit is on him, that leads me to question what else is in his closet
If his being a "mama's boy" is bugging you now, I can only guarantee that it would make you crazy a few years down the line. The same with the other things the two of you fought over.
It isn't all your fault and we don't always get closure. Life is messy, sometimes. One thing I found helpful were books to help heal from divorce and break ups. I hope you feel better soon.
Two years is a good run. that's about as long as it takes to see if you want to move on to the next level or not. He didn't want to, and you have to accept it because it's just what's happening.
I agree breaking up with you over email is cowardly and he should have done it in person.
One thing that may help you find closure is writing angry breakup poetry, I have found that to be so hopeful. You can veer post it here or show it to your therapist and/or friends. It does help.
To be fair, these things NEED to be discussed before marriage. Whether you both want kids, how many, how you both are with money, etc. are very important things to know about each other before you commit.
It's important for both people to have similar values where all these things are concerned.
I don't know if the "21" in your username is your actual age, but if it is, you are too young to be getting married anyway. I don't consider people "fully cooked" as adult until they are 26 to 28 years old.
If he was criticizing you all the time as my ex used to do, that's emotional abuse. And that's a problem. You may have thought you had a future with this guy, but if he was constantly criticizing you you just would have been miserable in that future.
You dodged a bullet in getting out of this one. If he won't give you closure, find it yourself. One thing that i have found very helpful is writing letters to your ex that you don't send (or do, email, lol) and journaling to get all of that off of your chest.