Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Had a decent xmas, but horrible night. Was with my sister driving up to her place and I was feeling very depressed. I talked about the breakup during the whole drive about the stuff I mentioned in my last post & she said "well do you ever look at it from his perspective?" That really stung and I got very emotional. My sister didnt take well to this and started yelling at me. She basically made me feel 100% worse about the way I handled my breakup and what my ex thinks of me now.
I just want to die. I get what she was saying but now I feel beyond horrible about myself again. Is how I act during the toughest time in my life a reflection of my character? My life shifted, I acted pathetic to my ex pretty much for the past week (after acting that way for the first few wks of the breakup) and now I'm dealing with the intense shame. Its too much for me to take. I wish he wouldnt hold it against me. I wish my sister wouldnt make me feel worse. I wish I could take it all back. Idk how to overcome this. I feel like maybe I am crazy and he is right to think poorly of me.
I just want to die. I get what she was saying but now I feel beyond horrible about myself again. Is how I act during the toughest time in my life a reflection of my character? My life shifted, I acted pathetic to my ex pretty much for the past week (after acting that way for the first few wks of the breakup) and now I'm dealing with the intense shame. Its too much for me to take. I wish he wouldnt hold it against me. I wish my sister wouldnt make me feel worse. I wish I could take it all back. Idk how to overcome this. I feel like maybe I am crazy and he is right to think poorly of me.
I suffer from the shame I place on myself for not being more graceful and elegant in how I am processing all of this. I totally get that. It's not who I usually am or who I want to be. Maybe it's ok to have a little crazy and get it out of the system. I look forward to recognizing myself again on the other side.
To answer your question, no, how you act during the toughest time of your life is NOT a reflection of your character. Grief and hurt manifests in different ways and often when we are in the throes of it, we say, do or think things we wouldn't do under normal circumstances. Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself hurt and grieve; don't suppress that.
I understand feeling like you're crazy...it really felt that way in the first weeks after my ex left and thoughts were flooding my mind faster than I could process them. You might go through cycles of that as you grieve but the intensity of it should lessens as time passes. Hugs to you!