Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone. I was searching online for support and came across this website. People here some helpful, so I'd like to share my story and hopefully get some advice.
My 2 year relationship ended this week. I am 36, he is 41. I was sure this was the person I would marry and have a family with and we talked about it all the time. Without getting into all the details, I will break down what happened and where things took a turn.
About two months into our relationship, he got a call from someone while sitting next to me and acted very strange. He starting hiding his phone after that. I ended up checking it and there were texts and pics btw him and this women. Turned out it was an ex of his, who also works for the same company. She lives about 7 hours away. I confronted him and he swore it was just texts, apologized over and over and swore he wouldn't contact her again. I believed him and we moved on.
Things were amazing. We had a connection like no other. Until 6 months later, my trust issues got the best of me. I checked his phone again, after he got upset when I asked to look at it one day. I found messages and pics btw him and this women again. This time when i confronted him, he turned it around on me. Telling me I couldn't be trusted and I violated his trust. He also swore he was only texting bc she kept contacting him, but would stop.
He swore up and down he wanted me. I believed him and I know for 100% certainty he was not physical with her. We were always together. Every weekend and I was moving into his home.
Last week, his phone was on the table and a message from her came up. It was a picture of her in a thong. I confronted him right away and he freaked out on me, telling me he has tried to stop her but she keeps emailing and contacting him. This women is engaged to another man, as well.
I freaked out and broke it off with him. Now I am regretting it. I know I have trust issues...and i hoped he would do his part to ensure that this women was out of his life. Block her!
I have tried reaching out to him, asking for us to go to counselling. He won't respond, other than saying he needs to concentrate on his life right now. He said he isn't interested in anyone else, yet don't contact me at all.
We also fought about a few things over and over:
- he doesn't like dogs inside the home and my dog is an inside dog. This caused problems for us bc I was moving into his house. He kept changing his mind. One day he was okay, the next it wasn't.
I would love some advice on how to proceed. I have stopped contacting him, because when I did I would get very little response...sometimes none at all. He has said I have broken him...but i don't think he is aware of how much this trust has been broken bc of his communication with her.
I am 36 and want a family. He was that person for me.
I haven't left my house, even for work in 5 days...i can't eat, sleep . I just cry...I don't have many friends anymore...Please help.
My 2 year relationship ended this week. I am 36, he is 41. I was sure this was the person I would marry and have a family with and we talked about it all the time. Without getting into all the details, I will break down what happened and where things took a turn.
About two months into our relationship, he got a call from someone while sitting next to me and acted very strange. He starting hiding his phone after that. I ended up checking it and there were texts and pics btw him and this women. Turned out it was an ex of his, who also works for the same company. She lives about 7 hours away. I confronted him and he swore it was just texts, apologized over and over and swore he wouldn't contact her again. I believed him and we moved on.
Things were amazing. We had a connection like no other. Until 6 months later, my trust issues got the best of me. I checked his phone again, after he got upset when I asked to look at it one day. I found messages and pics btw him and this women again. This time when i confronted him, he turned it around on me. Telling me I couldn't be trusted and I violated his trust. He also swore he was only texting bc she kept contacting him, but would stop.
He swore up and down he wanted me. I believed him and I know for 100% certainty he was not physical with her. We were always together. Every weekend and I was moving into his home.
Last week, his phone was on the table and a message from her came up. It was a picture of her in a thong. I confronted him right away and he freaked out on me, telling me he has tried to stop her but she keeps emailing and contacting him. This women is engaged to another man, as well.
I freaked out and broke it off with him. Now I am regretting it. I know I have trust issues...and i hoped he would do his part to ensure that this women was out of his life. Block her!
I have tried reaching out to him, asking for us to go to counselling. He won't respond, other than saying he needs to concentrate on his life right now. He said he isn't interested in anyone else, yet don't contact me at all.
We also fought about a few things over and over:
- he doesn't like dogs inside the home and my dog is an inside dog. This caused problems for us bc I was moving into his house. He kept changing his mind. One day he was okay, the next it wasn't.
I would love some advice on how to proceed. I have stopped contacting him, because when I did I would get very little response...sometimes none at all. He has said I have broken him...but i don't think he is aware of how much this trust has been broken bc of his communication with her.
I am 36 and want a family. He was that person for me.
I haven't left my house, even for work in 5 days...i can't eat, sleep . I just cry...I don't have many friends anymore...Please help.
So, the only way messages will continue to come to a phone is if the person who owns the phone is Ok with it. Otherwise, they would block the sender. May even go so far as contacting Authorities and filing a harassment charge. Most guys won't do that, but they would at least prove they don't want the text with their actions, not just words.
It hurts right now , you are alone and want him back just cus of that. But you know yourself that this is not a relationship you want for yourself. 36 is not old; you are putting the time line on that age.
You have to be Ok with yourself and where you are at in your life right now before you will find a relationship that will be that forever you are looking for. You may not see it now, but the best thing for you just happened and if you can find the will, dont' contact him again, lick your wounds and heal then pick yourself back up and get to working on the life you want. That "person" will then come in your life when you are ready. Until then, you will just repeat the cycle.
Welcome to the group
He didn't stop, hasn't stopped and doesn't plan to stop.
He was getting messages that you discovered only a couple of months into your relationship. I could be wrong, but I think you dodged a huge bullet.
I'm sorry you are going through this now, but you will look back on this and realized things worked out for the best.
Work to heal yourself before jumping into another relationship.
I wish you the very best of luck