You're in the right place. The pain from the grief feels unbearable at times. But think of how your children would feel if you weren't here. You are their protector. You will have to suffer through this for their sake, and you'all come out on the other side stronger than ever. Hang in there!

I think all of us have felt the despair and rejection here. Please take care of yourself. It really sucks but you need to live for yourself and your kids.

Get into therapy, go to divorce care, get pro
Active about your mental health. Take meds
If you really need them to function and get
Thru the day.

We all are on a path of divorce recovery and
It is long and bumpy journey. Keep reaching
out to Loving caring healthy people, churches
are another great support.

Keep calling the hotline if you need to, i know
Some that do it to help them get thu the night
Or by the hour.

Post on here often, you are not alone, we all
struggle. Sometimes if you have old abandonment
issues this will really trigger you and therapy is
a good Idea.

First comes the feelings of rejection then the
abandonment And betrayal will Kick in later
And too down the road. HUGS

BROTHER YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Don't do anything to harm yourself, the unfaithful don't deserve to be rid of us so easily, your children need you too. I know exactly how you feel, I tried to end it but stopped short thank GOD. My son would have been so incredibly devastated. Suicide is just as selfish as the adultery our spouses committed. Our lives are not over, we will move on, we will win in the end. They do not deserve faithful spouses. They need to experience the same pain that we have had to endure. Get on here often there always seems to be someone hanging around that is willing to talk. It has been such a blessing to me in some really dark moments. If you know Jesus, cling to him like never before. He is the only thing that has gotten me through this mess and still getting me through it. I was married 25 years when my wife had an affair with my best friend/boss. The double betrayal by the 2 people I loved is more than I can bear sometimes.

Been there and got the crappy T-shirt. It will be a very long while before you get over this. But remember you WILL get pass this. Nothing lasts forever. Don't give up. Vent. Let us know how you feel. Yell, cry, you can do it all. But whatever happens you keep going. Giving up is not an option.

Great input from everyone here! Your focus needs to be on you and your kids, not her. You cannot control her, you cannot change her actions. You ARE in control of your life, your happiness, your thoughts. There was an earlier post about pain being necessary, and unfortunately pain is necessary in our lives so that we can appreciate the true joy that reappear in our life in the future. The pain is so intense at times it seems unbearable, screaming for it to just go away (I know I'll get a thousand amens to that!). You must have faith that it will!

The early days SUCKKK so bad there's no pain like it. My ex wife was banging a family "friend" we were together 24 years. I also envisioned running my car into a brick wall etc...believe me it WILL get better. After close to 3 years the feelings for her are gone and I never speak or email or anything with her. Our kids are adults now so screw her. The kids and I have a great relationship and her relationship with them is awful, my son refuses to talk to her it's been a couple years. Our mutual friends cut her off also. Cheaters deserve what they get. My life is amazing now, great job, less stress dealing with the crumbling marriage and her bullshit lies. You will find someone you deserve IF you want to..personally I like the freedom of singlehood and spending my money how I want. I'm not willing to launch into a serious relationship but I'm ready if I want it. I'm talking to a gal I knew years ago and we have great convos and laugh as her ex cheated on her so she knows the pain. Just hang in there and TRUST this is TEMPORARY PAIN and will pass :)

brother, i am with you. i have gone down the suicide road and its not an easy path to succeed with. the good lord decided i had a life to live, and i am still trying to find my way on that. the event in my life gave me some perspective, and i realize i have to continue to evolve my thinking and thoughts every day. lost my kids to the bitch, had a huge bond with them, and got ptsd as a result. spent a year in bed and at the 2 year point i still cant get over some things. but it has got a bit better. realize and accept that suffering is a part of life, and dont stop yourself from have big long crying sessions. suffering is part of your ticket home when the time comes too. we are all jesus in that way of thinking. continue to reach out here and to friends, and to me specifically if you need. try to recognize and stay out of the death spiral, though be prepared to let it all out regularly. you will soon realize that the crying and moaning sessions can be cathartic. and let yourself sleep as much as possible. get some fresh air, and try to beat off the stress with some exercise, as hard as it will feel to get off your ass. take some comfort in the fact that in spite of the fact that all our sucky situations are different, the human body reacts to them all the same. at least physically, you can pull out of this. cognitively, remember you cant fix what is broke. do the serenity prayer every hour. watch your thought patterns and try to modulate them ever so slightly towards more positive ideas. life changes and humans are great at adapting to things. if you can put your trust in all of these ideas, you might avoid another crisis situation. recognize that the crisis feelings will come and go in waves. there will be no stopping them for a while. it will indeed have a life of its own for a while, beyond you. try to ride that wave, no differrent than a surf board in high waves. and keep breathing. at minimum 60 deep consecutive breaths 4 times a day. manage the physical and the cognitive. one day, one minute, at a time. love you man.

Hey..... the early days suck entirely. I am going to try and explain what worked for me.... message me or ask here if I don't make sense :).
it was 2.5 years ago.... she was sleeping with a guy from work. I was a head in the sand "good guy", far from perfect but woefully naive. I was destroyed.
I considered ending it briefly, thank god I found strength in that moment.
I looked at the pain as fuel.... I didn't choose to have it but I could choose where to release it and for me it was the gym and martial arts. both saved my life. When it got bad, i dragged my ass to the gym and pushed hard. This got easier and easier and the workouts burned off some stress, centred my mind and helped me sleep - which was a real issue.
You have all of there fuel any man needs to be the best you, decide how you are going to release it in a healthy way and go all in....
The 'other side' of all of this for me is beautiful. I have a wonderful woman in my life, work is great and my children are blooming. Life is beautiful my friend.... live it hard.
this one still gets me going...
"Be the hero of your own movie"
- Joe Rogan.