You may want to explore why your feeling this way. Is it because you never thought she would actually leave? Do you want what you think you cant have? Do you want her back because your afraid? Is it actually love or habit? Is something better than nothing?

Im not trying to be cruel here. Im on my second divorce with the same man. When I look back on why we got back together again...it was for all the wrong reasons on his part. I do love my husband but he does not love me. So, really think hard about your reasons for wanting her back. Big Hugs...

I have become Brian again, no more huns, no more I love you in emails, my new thing SEPARATE YOURSELF as much as we read into everything they are doing. DONT move on, if they come back so be it, if not they were not worth it, each of us deserves to be loved

That\'s what i\'ve been trying to find out Dairy... I never ever in a million years thought she would leave, that\'s very true the initial shock was crushing. It\'s weird, i fell in love with her 7 years ago..she was very shy, very timid..she had some problems with anxiety and eventually agoraphobia when we were married and I still loved her. About 9 months ago i started having random Panic attacks and massive anxiety for the first time in my life, I thought i was going insane to be honest..then the depression hit and i\'ve been so blind. She\'s been trying so hard, shes working now, doing everything for herself, socializing...she picked up so many of my interests but i never did tell her how much i apprieciated it..and I never once did do the same for her. so I guess now...she\'s not the girl i fell in love with and married..but something totally different. The sad part is im just seeing this now, my mind set over the last 10 months completly blinded me, like a very thick fog.

Now she\'s something i\'ve never seen before, I don\'t think im falling for my wife....but someone new..someone I had and had no idea..tough to think about. Which is why this is so confusing i guess =/

It\'s been 4 years since I separated my husband and he is now with another woman....for most of those four years I felt the same way...but in my case it was the other way around. He was the one who stopped loving me and I loved him even more. There is a time in your life that you have to decide when things need to stop for once. I decided this last week. Don\'t get me wrong, it is extremely hard and even more when we have a little one and I see him often when he visits his son but we have managed to get along, do things together if needed and talk like friends eventhough sometimes I would hope for him to say how much he misses us and how sorry he is for putting us through what he did a few years ago. Then again, you have to look at yourself, see how much you mean to yourself and be happy inside your own skin and bones. This is the only way you can make somebody else happy. But make sure you are accomplished yourself.

Loving somebody else is amazing but loving yourself first is espectacular....maybe, she will see how happy you are with yourself and figure out that she wants to feel the same way about her own self. Keep on being a support for her without any pressure and taking it easy when around her. Things will be alot better. Good luck sweetheart!!!

Hi Wes,

Have you spoken to her about how you feel? If the reason your relationship ended was because she had finally had enough, and felt that she could not change the situation for the better, she might still be hoping that you will realise this and change and become more loving and more like the man she married.

It could be that the reason you\'re now "Wes" again in the texts is because she\'s distancing herself from you again as self-protection to prevent the pain of getting emotionally involved when she doesn\'t know if you have changed or not.

If you really do like the new her, and you are falling for her again, maybe you should talk to her about it and ask her how she feels?

I know she\'s been distancing herself, and thats exactly why, i\'ve hurt her for so many years. I havent told her that Im falling back in love with her not while she was awake anyway. yet...Im afraid it might make her feel like im trying to pressuring us back together..which is not what I want to do. I have alot of work to do, I\'ve realized i\'ve changed into a very cold, angry person who show\'s no emotion. Passive aggressive and just a plain ass sometimes. I\'m not that person. I was never that person, thats NOT the person she married.

I have alot of work to do, my depression has taken over my life to the point i absolutly dont know who i am anymore.

All in all i think expereicing other relationships and new people will bring both of us some hapiness. One day I hope our path\'s cross again but they wont unless i change mine thats for sure..

Wes, I can relate to so much of what you have been saying.

Especially:
"Ever wish you could start over? Ever wish you could turn back the time a bit.... "

Beleive me , it was all I thought about for a long time.

Now I realize 2 things:
- not everything that hurts you can be cured. Sometimes you have to just ride it out and see who you are on the other side.
- not everything you have done wrong can be fixed. Sometimes, as much as it sucks, you just have to learn from your mistakes and move on.

Good luck to you, Wes. I mean that.

But ask yourself a question. Do I actually want her to stay, or am I just afraid for her to leave ?

There is a difference there...

Very true AJ. Very true.

I dont think I can fix the hurt that i caused her. Let me tell yah, I will do my best, and give my all next time around, be it with my ex wife, or a new love. Definetly a lesson learned. As much as it hurts right now, i am pretty excited to see the old me again, because i will get there. I will finally deal with my problems and get back to who I was...the person i want to be.

I am very afraid to lose her forever, I\'m sure some of it is being afraid of letting her go. But I also want her to stay... but for now, im going to work on me. Get myself back in form and then explore.

It\'s very honest and brave of you to realise that you\'ve got work to do on yourself before you can be in a relationship with her again.

I suppose remorse for how you have behaved towards her in the past means that you are coming to understand the impact you have had on your relationship with her, and that\'s a big part of how you will be able to change. It means you realise that you need to change, for your own wellbeing.

It\'s a big step in the right direction. :)

"im going to work on me. Get myself back in form "

That is all you can do.

If she wants to stay, it will have to be her decision.

Oh yes!
Last year in september I wanted to leave my ex because of his indifference. Yet, he talked me into staying with him. However it took more time for me to love him again like I used to, and he noticed that. The irony of it all, when i was really back to loving him again, truly madly deeply, he left me.

All i wanted was to turn back the time. I was having so much regret for wanting lo leave in septemeber, for needing more time to getting back to where we used to be..
I totally understand what you mean..
Maybe you should take the first stept!! It\'s never too late for true love! Just give it a try!

you cant hang out and heal

one thing has nothin to do with the other..hate to say it BUT told ya the rollercoaster was waiting to bite you in the butt

Aww Strumphyy..

Thats exactly what im afraid off, what if it takes me another month..2..10...and YEAR! to get back to were i was when we got married...She may have already met someone...or end up leaving me again due to not being able to love me again due to the hurt i caused in the past =/..very scary.

Good luck Wes.

I spent over a year trying to win over my own wife, only to find out she was unfaithful.

Don\'t put your happiness completely in her hands....

Thanks AJ.

I really am trying not too...i really really am. She made that mistake with me, and I destroyed it. I wont do that to myself