Don't give up, like the saying goes... What doesn't kill you will make you stronger! I am living proof of that!

I feel your pain so much, it is completely overwhelming. Get on here and talk talk talk. I am into this about 6 weeks and still have anxiety through the roof at least once daily. I am financially strapped also, but fortunately have the ability to live with my Mother until we get our situation figured out. Do you have anyone to live with for the time being? Relieve part of the financial burden? I cant believe at 50 I'm living with my Mother, but she has really been a blessing, no judgement just support, plus she loves to cook for someone besides herself. Also getting on here and encouraging others in the same boat has helped. I have also thrown myself into reading God's Word and listening to uplifting music. I am walking about 6 miles per day, which helps tire me out for all the sleepless nights. I am also going to DivorceCare which cost $15 but it helps to talk in person with other people. I don't have the money for private therapy right now but our local university offers counseling for free to give their students experience. These are just a few options, I still have really bad days, dark thoughts, total despair, I think it is just part of it. Just remember that God can work miracles out of our mistakes. Stay strong reach out often.

I have been where you are. It's scary and exhausting. You just feel like you want to go to sleep and never wake up again. You stop answering phone calls and opening mail because of the effort it takes. Even smiling takes monumental effort. BUT you came here. You reached out to us. That shows me that while you are hurting and tired and tempted to give up, you really don't want to and that's a good thing! So let's start from where you are. Take stock of what resources you have. Do you have friends and/or family? Do you belong to a church? Do you have a bike? Are you in reasonably good health? Look at the community you live in. Get on the internet and find out what resources they offer. Many mental health facilities offer counseling on a sliding scale or even free. I know you are about to lose your electricity, but there is a phone app I read about called Talkspace where for $25 a week (that's what it used to cost a few years ago), you can text a licensed therapist as much as you want 24/7 for a week and there are no contracts or insurance involved. You don't even have to leave your house. Speaking of leaving your house, you say you have no car. Can you look for work at home jobs? Can you sell things on eBay? Check out your local legal aid or courthouse. My girlfriend's ex also owed her tons of money and she couldn't afford a lawyer either, but she found out that every Thursday, our courthouse had lawyers who would show people how to file things for free. She learned from them how to file the necessary paperwork to get him to cough up the money and she did pretty good. Being in a position like you are right now is going to require a lot of legwork and reaching out to people. Talk to anyone and everyone. Call your electric company even and tell them your story. Ask what they can do for you. When you've got nothing to lose, you've got nothing to lose. (((HUGS)))

Hi SassyGrace,

My mood is up and down. Everything you stated is how I am feeling. I just try to tell myself it will get better and I am taking it one day at a time. Most days I feel really really hurt. The hurt I feel just makes me not want to do anything. Because I feel like why would you do this to me all I did was love you, care for you, and be there to help you and you threw me away like I was trash. That stings so hard. I know how you feel, cause I feel pain. Somedays I just want to be myself but when you really love someone it is hard not to grieve. My advice stay believing you will get better.

Oh, there is always a reason to live. Do you have kids? They need you? I'm sure your friends need you too, and your family. I know divorce is hard, I have been through two myself and the second one wrecked me, but I found my reason to live and pressed forward. Counseling can be good but if your short on money thehopeline.com is a good resource that's free and available 24/7 to chat one on one with someone. It might be a good way to get some encouragement. Good luck to you, your in my prayers

Oh, there is always a reason to live. Do you have kids? They need you. I'm sure your friends need you too, and your family. I know divorce is hard, I have been through two myself and the second one wrecked me, but I found my reason to live and pressed forward. Counseling can be good but if your short on money thehopeline.com is a good resource that's free and available 24/7 to chat one on one with someone. It might be a good way to get some encouragement. Good luck to you, your in my prayers

Look up 'The Four Noble Truths'

Life seems to be a string of sufferences, mostly small but sometimes difficult to bear.
I am thankful with what I have and fairly content.
I don't see the future being any easier or anything I had imagined, but love of family is what helps day to day. Looking up cousins or extended family you havnt seen for a long time, friends etc is all interesting and helpful. You just don't know what is in store :-)

Wow, how Ive been where you are!!!! Bad Bad Bad. Depression set in and didnt go away. I did therapy, got on depression meds, sleeping pills because I'd wake up in panic attacks. I turned to alcohol (still fighting that demon) and actually did try to take my life. I was just tired of feeling this way. I screamed to God to take me. Took a whole bottle of sleeping pills after getting home from a night out that ended in a DWI. Guess what......... I slept for 24 hours and I woke up. i couldnt believe it. I couldnt even be done with this crap! Geez. At that point though, I realized that maybe I had unfinished business on earth because why else would I be here. Just know itty bitty baby steps help. This forum helped a little, so did meditation, and positive affirmations everyday from YouTube. I actually even forced myself to smiling for 2 minutes in my car on the way to work. I increased my time little by little. They say even forcing a smile on your faces helps you feel a little better. You really should not compare what you see your ex has now because you will always see him having better than you. Been there too. Take it minute by minute.