Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It took me over a year to figure out why me EX checked out. He blamed it on me, I needed hormonal therapy, along with regular therapy, but never took blame.
I did therapy twice, he never agreed with their insights.
When I said I wanted a divorce, he bribed me that if I wanted to have a graduation pary for our daughter, I had to attend family counselling. I went 1 time. His list of my faults was huge. By the end of the hour, the counselor urged me to get him out of my life. Then I get a reply from my ex later, that it's because she was female, and we should try with a male therapist. Sorry, no, I was done.
I started a relationship with an old boyfriend from college shortly before my divorce was final. My ex immediatley went to our chuch, blaming my boyfriend for the end of our marriage. Then, I found out he had been talking with the Pastor since the minute I asked for a divorce. This Pastor asked me to leave the church, but he would allow me to see my son confirmed and graduate from grade school. He apparently didn't inform the Sr. Pastor, it was only until I joined another church, I found that out.
One thing I learned, my ex admitted he married me for my father. After my father's passing is when he checked out of the marriage. 22 yrs of marriage, I found out all he wanted was to marry the boss' daughter, and find the father he lost when he was a teenager.
How did I not see this, and what man admits he only married for statis?
I did therapy twice, he never agreed with their insights.
When I said I wanted a divorce, he bribed me that if I wanted to have a graduation pary for our daughter, I had to attend family counselling. I went 1 time. His list of my faults was huge. By the end of the hour, the counselor urged me to get him out of my life. Then I get a reply from my ex later, that it's because she was female, and we should try with a male therapist. Sorry, no, I was done.
I started a relationship with an old boyfriend from college shortly before my divorce was final. My ex immediatley went to our chuch, blaming my boyfriend for the end of our marriage. Then, I found out he had been talking with the Pastor since the minute I asked for a divorce. This Pastor asked me to leave the church, but he would allow me to see my son confirmed and graduate from grade school. He apparently didn't inform the Sr. Pastor, it was only until I joined another church, I found that out.
One thing I learned, my ex admitted he married me for my father. After my father's passing is when he checked out of the marriage. 22 yrs of marriage, I found out all he wanted was to marry the boss' daughter, and find the father he lost when he was a teenager.
How did I not see this, and what man admits he only married for statis?
it's a shame that you two could not have gotten on the same page a long time ago. it sounds like over the years, the problems just kept piling up. when you both finally went to counseling, he just unloaded.
divorce just sucks. i'm sorry that you have to go through it too.
I don't know that you should fully believe this - to stay in a marriage for 22yrs for status only?? It's quite possible, he said this out of spite - the church incident leads me to believe this; his ego is probably damaged by you moving on with your life & being happy with it..
People who go for divorce are the ones who no longer love the other person. No wonder the church kicked you out. They're much more understanding of the situation.
Now, it is time to ask god for forgiveness.
Felt and still feel hurt and rejected. My abusive husband still attends the church and does his ministry!!
What kind of churches do that? Wow, just wow.
He should stop the "BLAME GAME AND JUSTIFICATION GAME." AS FAR AS YOUR PASTOR, HE IS A HUMAN BEING LIKE THE REST OF US. HE IS NOT BEYOND A HIGHER ORDER. SORRY THE PASTOR IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY.
One thing to consider is, he may have said that out of anger because you weren't willing to go to another counselor, not to mention, you were ending the marriage.
Also, my ex would still be here, new boyfriend and all, if I hadn't divorced him. He still liked the fact that when my father passed, I inherited 1/4 of the company. I get regular dividend checks, and he made it a point to spend them ASAP. He hadn't slept in our bedroom in years, and I finally got to the point, if I didn't get him out, I'd go crazy. Plus, with his high income, my checks, we were in major debt, I wasn't spending it, and when I started investigating, I think my ex was having an affair. I would ask questions about a $70 dollar lunch, $200 for dinner, and he would say he got compensated on his check, but stopped letting me see his checks.
Thiings came clear in our income split. I came out way ahead, even though I had a new boyfriend. It raised many flags with friends and family.
I paid off my house and my car. I have no credit card debt. OK, the past year, I bought a hot tub (my ex always said no when I bought it up), a new car (my ex bought the last one). But, I had the money in the bank to do it.
My ex's mom calls me because he has so much debt, it's not my problem anymore.
I didn't complain when he quit paying for our children's cell phones. I paid him for the insurance increase for my son to drive his car, even though I'm paying for the increase on my car without his help. I ended up paying for my daughter's summer tuition, even though she hates me, and want nothing to do with me.
He earns a lot more than I get from my trust. He owns a rental property with no mortgage. I don't get what he does with his money.
Divorce wasn't easy. I stayed in it because of the church. Through my new church, I learned that it's OK. I needed to emotionally heal myself, and find love again.
Strange thing, is in talking with people, there are a lot of them who's spouse sleeps in another room, and then just live with it. Love again is there, just waiting to be found.