Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi... I haven't posted anything on here for a while, but am reading many of the posts and trying to comment when I can.
I am still struggling to make any headway in my healing, and I have found a new counselor whom I think will be helpful. She is suggesting EMDR therapy and thinks it would be beneficial. I will try anything at this point!! My question is has anyone here tried it or know anything about it? I know there are a few who have commented on it, and I have been reading extensively about it on internet, just would like more personal experiences, if anyone has tried it. Thanks.... Cindy
I am still struggling to make any headway in my healing, and I have found a new counselor whom I think will be helpful. She is suggesting EMDR therapy and thinks it would be beneficial. I will try anything at this point!! My question is has anyone here tried it or know anything about it? I know there are a few who have commented on it, and I have been reading extensively about it on internet, just would like more personal experiences, if anyone has tried it. Thanks.... Cindy
(And Joy, if you could elaborate maybe?)
I don't know where else to post this since I requested ILR to be a friend and never heard anything, and Joy, I know you are very selective about befriending someone - no problem and I totally understand, so I don't know how else to get this message to you. Thank you both if you are able to give me any more info. about EMDR. ((HUGS)) to you both..... Cindy
I noticed the rage and anxiety were bubbling up in ways that didn't make sense, this part is a bit hard to explain. I would be thinking mundane things, be in a neutral mood, be engaged in mentally demanding activities (like work for instance) and the feelings would explode in me suddenly because of triggers and I'd feel overwhelmed physically. They manifested physically.
It really felt like a nervous system thing, more than a cognitive, thinking-myself-into-a-state thing. And all the cognitive work I had done in my previous therapy, that I would recall and repeat in my mind, had zero effect on it.
That's why I suspected it was ComplexPTSD, and my therapist agreed.
I had ended up in the ER and cardiac wing for 5 days with anxiety that presented like heart disease. I had to do something.
So I got the top person in the city who does EMDR (I was scared and wanted to make sure I got it right).
When I had finished my sessions, I had none of the rage or the anxiety, none of the physical manifestations and not feeling like I was at the mercy of my nervous system anymore. I wasn't having my nightly nightmares anymore, I wasn't fighting destructive rage impulses, racing pulse, being startled and constantly "on guard", and most importantly to me, the heart attack symptoms-- all gone.
But EMDR doesn't make love stop. Cognitve therapy doesn't either. It doesn't make you wanna date again or relieve you of the normal parts of breakup, like grief.
It's a type of therapy that's effective in helping people who suffer from the effects of trauma....not heart break.
I feel pretty damn normal these days, and to me, that's miraculous compared to how battered and knotted up I was. I was in pretty bad shape. The weird thing about coming out of a traumatic and abusive relationship is, I was numb and on autopilot for the first year. That's the "post" part of CPTSD, the symptoms manifest themselves AFTERWARDS in a way that can't be "willed" or talked or thought away on one's own.
Anyway, I'm here because the one last piece for me, the part of myself that went into hibernation, or got driven down too deep or who knows, maybe was broken, has yet to return - my desire to be emotionally, sexually, romantically intimate with someone again.
So while I wait, and cultivate that garden for something to grow, I chat with my friends, and help where I can.
I hope that helps a little.
ps. you can Pm me anytime. I'm a weirdo with the 'accepting friends" thing, but that doesn't mean you can't message me privately. :) ((hugs))
This really sounded familiar: "The weird thing about coming out of a traumatic and abusive relationship is, I was numb and on autopilot for the first year. That's the "post" part of CPTSD, the symptoms manifest themselves AFTERWARDS in a way that can't be "willed" or talked or thought away on one's own."
I hope my experience is as positive as you describe. Thanks for sharing.