My ex came over last night to spend "early" Christmas eve with my son - we watched Polar Express and he stayed over for "early" Christmas morning. We did this because I am from another province and we go there every second year - don't see my family much other than that. This year, I really need to go home and my ex didn't want to come (he has family he could have stayed with there) so we did early Christmas instead. It was nice and encouraging to see that we could work together and be team parents for our son. He has become a much better father since we split, just as he did that last time we split - silver lining I guess?

It has, however, left me feeling sad for all the losses. I'm beginning to understand that what my ex did has nothing to do with me - what he did is a function of his own problems and his own faults, not mine. So, accepting him and also accepting myself more and more. I'm praying a lot more lately and finally getting to trust that God loves me and has a plan for me - perhaps part of that plan is forgiveness and growth. Perhaps my ex and I can one day be better friends and co-parents than we ever were as a couple. All in due time. Feeling rather philosophical tonight. Merry early Christmas everyone.