Hoping you will stop wondering about what she is thinking someday soon.... but it def sounds like you are doing better these days, that's great.

Hey Jim,

I don't know you or that much about your situation but ((Hug)).

I am like you in many ways. I haven't spoken to my ex in a couple weeks and it feels good to know that i'm being strong but I want to talk to him very badly. It's very hard for me when I get like this.

I also think if he knows what he threw away. We were happy together, and things we good but he threw me away because we were to "long distance." We lived 40 mins apart. I'm sickened when I think about everything.

Keep your chin up. We will all get through this and find someone who truly cares about us. Best wishes, Jim.

i understand - i'm having a really low few days too. It's a month now - I'll be honest I keep hoping he is feeling bad about the whole thing, also wondering if he made a mistake..seeing he told me a while before that he was afraid he was going to screw it up with me like he did with the other two big loves of his life....self sabotage maybe? I don't understand any of it. I just keep feeling like he got to the commitment line and then bolted. I keep hoping he is having no success in looking for other women or doesn't even have the heart to date right now ..I know I don't...i guess I'm in a new phase of denial right now.

I do think it's harder when kids are involved..i can bet you miss the little guy too ...

I know everyone says it gets better with time..I don't know if I believe that. But I do think even the low days are a way of growing in strength...or rather developing other qualities in our lives.. empathy for others...a deeper heart of compassion ... a tender spirit. ... my challenge is not hardening my heart and hanging onto the vulnerability I learned ... even though I want to shut down.. I realized today I can't let myself do that . I owe it to myself..to the goodwe did have...to press forward. to show myself... i AM a catch....

Got plans for thanksgiving? I've been in bed with teh 'flu for a few days and decided suddenly...today I'm putting up christmas decorations...an attempt to cheer myself up :)

all the best!

Those overwhelming sense of loss times eventually pass and get fewer and farther in between. But I know what you mean. Sometimes I just get an intense feeling of panic--wanting to see her, but knowing I can't. It's really an utterly powerless feeling. But it does go away each time. You're in my prayers to get through this.

i am trying to picture the right kind of woman for you since you are such a tender soul. i wonder where you can find a truly gentle woman who you can really enjoy a soft home for a change. somehow, i picture a woman who is an artist quietly painting her pictures and loving a peaceful life.

turn your focus forward, Jim. the bridge to the past has been blown up pretty good.

Jim, I can so identify with the feelings of loneliness that can overcome you at times.
I am fortunate in so far as I don't long for my ex or miss him. After so many years of abuse and anger. The peace and quiet is such a gift to me.
But there have been times when I have been happy, and then all of a sudden become totally overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness and loss. It can be so tough. Big ((hugs))!!
Last weekend I was having a really tough time with it, and it really hit me when I was in church. Anyway at the end of the service a good friend came up to me and asked how I was doing, and I tried to bravely say I was fine. She straight away said to me, "oh no you're not - what is going on?"
Anyway to cut a long story short, I asked how she could tell I was not doing ok? She said my words said one thing but my face looked like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh, which really cracked me up.
I love the characters in Winnie-the-Pooh and so whenever I am feeling down I think of how I must look like Eeyore and it puts such a smile on my face. Maybe you can do something similar for yourself. I know it is crazy, but it works for me.
Good luck!!! And good for you, for the progress you have made!!

I had a really good stretch there for a little while when I was plowing forward boldly and happily. And now I'm riding waves of what you describe also. I've been dreaming about him a lot lately and I know it's my subconsious trying to work things out. I have no healing words for us but I am with you. Wishing peace for all of us.

Thank you to everyone for once again helping me to know I am going to make it in time. Thank God for allowing me to find this website. I would really be alone if not for all of you.

I am taking each day as a gift thanks to you...

Jim

so sorry you're having such a difficult time with this still :(
Hope you can try to set it aside to focus on the ones who do want you around and in your life through the holidays....we want you around as well...miss ya. Take care Jim

I feel for you, Jim. I know what it's like to lose someone you're in love with. I love so fully and wholly that it has just about killed me to go through this - losing a man I loved. It has been 2 years now since he called it off, and I still sometimes miss him so much I feel I'm going out of my mind. Sometimes I feel life is not worth living without him. I am bipolar as well, and this has been such an overwhelming thing for me to deal with. I am on medication for my bipolar, and I see a counselor, but still my heart pines for something that I can no longer have.

I have been searching for resources and help on the internet for dealing with a breakup. I found a great tip today - make a list of 5 unpleasant memories with your ex. When you have a fond memory of your ex, replace that memory with an unpleasant one. Of course, many experts also say to have no contact with your ex. It sounds like you are doing that, so I'm sure this will help you and you will only be stronger for it. That is a step that I failed to do, and am probably still paying for that transgression.

Anyway, take care, and I'm sure as wonderful a person as you seem to be, you will find someone equally as wonderful to share your life with again.