Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everybody. I'm new to this community.
8 days ago I wake up to find a skype msg from my boyfriend of nearly 10 years saying that he wants to break up.
(For the ones who want our background story:
We always had a fun relationship. The first two yrs were long distance due to our studies. In 2012 we moved in together, things were fine, we were even talking about getting married. I started looking for a wedding dress, we looked at rings, the whole shebang. Then in December 2013 suddenly he became distant and after a while he broke up with me. I was devastated of course and fought really hard to get us back together, which we did. However it wasn't like before, I was walking on eggshells most of the time. During that time i decided, with his support, that it was best for me to move back home due to better employment opportunities. He would finish his studies and come join me after. I was not looking forward to a LDR again, especially as things were still a bit strained between us. A few months after i left, i think it was November/December 2014, my bf was sending me love declarations, explained why he had been distant etc. Things were great! Last March he came to vacation at home and I felt he was distant again. I tried talking to him etc, he said we were fine and that he would move back as soon as possible. Two weeks after he left he sends me this Skype msg telling me he doesn't feel the love between us anymore. )
After 10 yrs, all I get is a skype msg? I feel really betrayed, like he was playing with my emotions all along. We haven't spoken since and i'm really heartbroken. For the life of me I cannot understand what changed so quickly! This is the guy i wanted to marry, have kids with, and now suddenly it is all gone. I do not know what to do. I love him so much and it just hurts so bad! Plz, someone help me understand!
8 days ago I wake up to find a skype msg from my boyfriend of nearly 10 years saying that he wants to break up.
(For the ones who want our background story:
We always had a fun relationship. The first two yrs were long distance due to our studies. In 2012 we moved in together, things were fine, we were even talking about getting married. I started looking for a wedding dress, we looked at rings, the whole shebang. Then in December 2013 suddenly he became distant and after a while he broke up with me. I was devastated of course and fought really hard to get us back together, which we did. However it wasn't like before, I was walking on eggshells most of the time. During that time i decided, with his support, that it was best for me to move back home due to better employment opportunities. He would finish his studies and come join me after. I was not looking forward to a LDR again, especially as things were still a bit strained between us. A few months after i left, i think it was November/December 2014, my bf was sending me love declarations, explained why he had been distant etc. Things were great! Last March he came to vacation at home and I felt he was distant again. I tried talking to him etc, he said we were fine and that he would move back as soon as possible. Two weeks after he left he sends me this Skype msg telling me he doesn't feel the love between us anymore. )
After 10 yrs, all I get is a skype msg? I feel really betrayed, like he was playing with my emotions all along. We haven't spoken since and i'm really heartbroken. For the life of me I cannot understand what changed so quickly! This is the guy i wanted to marry, have kids with, and now suddenly it is all gone. I do not know what to do. I love him so much and it just hurts so bad! Plz, someone help me understand!
You're not alone. i had a similar breakup with my ex, about 3 weeks ago. she broke up with me, through text, and it was so sudden, i didn't see it coming. she had sent me very nice texts the day before, and then friday morning on the 27th of march, she just suddenly broke up with me. she and i shared a long distance relationship too.
it's helping to talk, write, and sharing here on daily strength. my ex and i were close for over 5 years, and a couple for over 3 years. i understand the pain you are experience.
we're here if you need too talk.
To be so mislead and then outrageously treated like that!
There is no justice
We are here to talk as you must experience your grief and loss
hugs to you
Join a group and get a therapist
Hugs to you
We are all getting through this long process......it will get easier
Hugs to you
You have an injury and must be kind and very gentle with yourself now
Do not pressure yourself to do too much
But keep living through each day looking after yourself
The truth is hurtful in that you are seeing that he was playing you.
There is no shame in being fooled, it speaks well of you that you can trust, love, and believe in someone.
Sometimes we cross paths with a narcissistic user of people.
take time to write down as much as you can about events in your relationship, try to describe them as facts without emotional nuance, then take a look at the facts, they may reveal who he was all along
I just think it's very disrespectful the way he ended things. I'm afraid that if I speak to him it would either result in a fight because i'm so angry or I would break down in front of him because i'm so hurt and disappointed.
My ex GF of 12 years (after the 4th or 5th time cheating on me) took off, without my knowledge, and moved to another state to be with a man she had gotten engaged to, while we were still together. He even contacted me, man to man, which was shitty feeling at the time but it was also the tiniest bit of respect afforded to me throughout the deal.
I also have a job that requires my attn, but it is not a life or death job. I need to be on my game mentally.
I am still going through the phases. I carried (and still do, to some extent) a lot of self-anger for "allowing" her to cheat...meaning, she did it, I took her back, she did it again, I took her back, etc etc). I am pissed and resentful I spent 12 years with someone and THIS is what it amounted to.
In this process, the one thing am I learning echos what everyone else here said: the pain isn't easy, but it is manageable. Don't make decisions that jeopardize your future because all it does is give him more and more power. Take time to care about you.