Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Drowning

YEBO89
YEBO89

it's been a year since I left the house we bought together . Me and my two boys and him. Since then, he's been with a few woman and I a few men. About 5 months ago he stopped seeing the boys all together . No phone calls or seeing them. I've been doing it all 100% alone. He is not biologically either of my child's dad , but was their dad bc he was the only dad either knew for 6 years . We were together for 6 years . Recently my heart had just smacked me with some reality . Your in love still and you need to fight for him. So, I told him how I felt . He came over and I cried from 10-3 am in his arms . Cried for all the things that have happened between us , cried for my pain, for my longing to be a family again. I just cried for it all. We slept togther , and then we fell asleep in each other's arms which we havnt done in so long . He got up and left . And told me to give him his space . That he needed me to not call or txt for him to decided what he wants . I've always felt he loved me . I always felt like he was home . This time it's different . This time he feels gone . I think he's really gone . I think he's done with all of us . And I'm drowning in this . Being a full time single parent is hard. Hardest thing I've ever done . My youngest is special needs . I've lost 4 jobs in the past 5 months bc of his needs and being in and out of the hospital and they both just cry for him so much . I feel I've failed my boys and I'm failing myself . I can't sleep with out crying myself to get there . I can't eat and keep food down . I can't even tell myself to get up and ready and worst of all, I'm not being the best mom I could be .im drowning . I come from a history of self harm. And havnt since I got pregnant with my first child over 9 years ago. But the thoughts are rushing in and I can't seem to stop them. And I also can't brings myself to tell anyone in fear of how they would respond . I'm scared of being honest yet I'm scared of being silent also bc I know what can come if it . I'm scared , lonely , angry, full of regret , full of shame , tired ,  exhausted , and just plain lost. 

kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
I'm sorry you're going through this ..breakups can be really brutal. Is there family you can lean on close by? Do you have friends that can lend a hand? Even a listening ear? I hope you can gain the strength for your children to cut your ex out. He's made his choice and unfortunately used your grief for a booty call. He's not a man, he sounds like a narcissistic user. I was with my ex wife for 24 years and she cheated and left 3 years ago, it was extremely difficult but after finally totally cutting her off and accepting it was over then healing finally started. There were moments that were torture not being able to talk to her again but that subsides and you get over them..but it takes time. Keep posting for support it really helped me in the early days..and journaling helps too, especially reading your entries months later and seeing how far you've come.
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
Oh and I did see my doctor and laid it all out on the table what was happening ..wife cheating and leaving, mom dying ..business floundering..don't be afraid to ask for help. He prescribed some Xanax and other anti depressants that really helped me at the time..I'm off them all now but they got me over the difficult times
cautiously.optimistic
cautiously.optimistic
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.
I may a bit of a hypocrite here but there is someone out there that will love you and your two children unconditionally.
I'm in a situation where my wife wants to find herself after 14 years of a relationship and this year will be 10 years of marriage.
I fill my brain with all possible reasons why she wants to leave and then trick myself into thinking that maybe....just maybe tomorrow she will be 180 degrees different.
Please keep your head up. Those two kids are watching and taking notes. Just as mine are...
good luck. Feel free to chat anytime!!!
YEBO89
YEBO89
Unfortunately my family cut me out along time ago. So I do not have their support. And because of the way my life is right now with being so busy taking care of the boys alone, and my youngest son health needs , My social life has been pretty neglected. So I don't really have people to talk to friend wise either. Thank you both for your support. And I am so sorry for what you both are going through, or have gone through.
Dandelion
Dandelion
You've got an awful lot on your plate. I'm very sorry because I know how it is to feel overwhelmed and alone.

Im kind of angry right because I feel you were vulnerable and used by an asshole.

Huge pet peeve of mine.

People getting taken advantage and used push all my buttons.

I'm hoping maybe you can get some medication to maybe take the edge off.

If I were you I'd stick by supportive women until you're stronger because predatory sick men sense the vulnerability.
jojored
jojored
With all that you're struggling with, you need support, I'm sorry you don't have it now. My county has a "life transition" center for women, where they can put you in touch with whatever county services you may need, from job training, employment search, financial assistance, legal referrals, etc. Find out if something like that exists where you live. Also, with whatever issues your youngest son has, are there support groups related to it? If you could hook up with other families going through the same things you are with this child, you might find some relief, and if nothing more, at least feel you aren't alone with this particular struggle. The urge to self harm comes from a place of desperation, it's good that you're here looking for help. Continue to reach out to as many good people and groups as you can. I believe you can find a way, you have to, for the sake of your little ones. Be strong, be well.
jojored
jojored
Don't be scared of being honest. You have nothing to be ashamed of or anything to apologize about. You've had issues with self harm in the past, but not for 9 years. That's something to be proud of. You went through a difficult period of time, and came out of it better for it. If people judge you negatively for it, try not to be too discouraged. Some will, but I bet many more would see your strength. And as for the BF, I know from experience it's better to be finally out of the relationship limbo. If you know it's over, now you know which direction to head to, and can put your efforts towards that.
nightingale77
nightingale77
Hi @YEBO89, sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now. Taking care of a child who has special needs is not easy, not even mentioning you still have to take care of them single-handedly. And above all, you still have to nurse a broken heart. I feel so sad for you and what you are going through.

But I wanna encourage you. You can rise up to all these and you will be stronger. You mentioned in your profile that you are a christian (I'm glad you are) so it might be good to start attending a church so that you can build a community of support for your sons and yourself. Whatever you are going through is not pleasant but it will build you up stronger emotionally and mentally. Continue to pray about it, give your situation over to God and see how He works His will for your good. Hang in there! Praying for you and your kids! God bless!