Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
my situation is I've just moved in to a flat after wife said she wanted a divorce about a 8weeks ago I still love her and she knows this I've told her I want to mend the relationship and she says she can't answer that right now as she doesn't know and I've said to text me if she decides so I'm keeping my distance so to give her space and time.
just woke up after dreaming about her.
in the dream I caught her with another guy and I beat him up and flung him out the house obviously this isn't something I'd do in the present situation but it was as if it had actually happened an I've got all the emotions just now.
so should I wait and if I do how long should I wait before I ask her to make a decision so I can either try and fix things or just move on .
the flat is so quiet and it's three in the morning hopefully tomorrow is better
I still have hope that we may try and fix things which is making it difficult to move on I have no patience but know I can't rush her into making a decision .
I hate this so much just want the empty feeling inside me to stop
I began an online journal. Each time I had one, I wrote down all that I could remember. As the days and weeks wore on, I saw patterns to my thinking and some of the symbolism began to make sense. As I understood more, my mind was able to let it go. I honestly think that if I hadn't been able to process it, I might still be having the dreams. When I wrote it out and read my own words, something just clicked.
Here is one of my journal entries from that time, just to so how strange things can get:
I had another in a series of strange dreams last night about my father. I dreamed that I was walking a short distance from one place to another and the another disappeared. I was walking along a familiar road with slow moving traffic and it began to rain, a slow drizzle.
A really nice Lexus SUV drove by and for some reason I decided to reach out, grab the handle and try to get in the automobile. When I slid the door open I saw that it was full of stuffed animals lined up in every seat with some blond soccer mom driving. I squeezed myself into a seat and when I looked around all the stuffed animals had turned into Muppets. They were cheerful and excited to be going somewhere for entertainment. I for some reason felt like a child again and began clapping and laughing myself. We began cheering when we saw a movie theater in the distance.
As we got closer I strained to see what was playing on the marquee. It said “FUN”. But when we drove past a small tree the theater turned into an older pharmacy. Suddenly all the Muppets disappeared and I somehow became the driver. I was driving down a deserted road, saw a shadow and I heard my father say “I have got to get out of here somehow, before December” and without thinking I said “okay”. Then I realized that he was dead and I shouldn’t be able to hear him talking. I look for the shadow behind me as I called his name and wrecked the car into a large tree and woke up.
In addition, the separation is not a vacation where the couple can play, it’s time apart to figure things and also an opportunity for you both to work together on your marriage. It shouldn’t be no contact. Work on yourself, therapy, a hobby, cultivate new friends, get more involved in your church etc. Hang in there, it’s tough, I will be praying for you both. Father, bless and lift this couple up, heal them and repair their marriage and the damage it’s caused. Have mercy on them! Amen.