I finally know the official move-out plan for my ex, and I'm so anxious about it all I might be sick.

Yesterday he came back from visiting family for the holiday. We didn't spend much time in the same place, but did talk a bit more about our feelings for each other and about how hard this is. He's going to be at the apartment at least through tonight, but maybe through Monday night. During the day on Tuesday he's going to move the bed to his new place. When I get home, what was once our perfect room will be half-empty. I'll be on the couch all week, because I don't want to set up my new bed still surrounded by his things. So several night ahead of fearing going into that depressing bedroom... until Saturday, when he'll move the rest of his things. We're going to talk first and say 'goodbye.' I know it might not be the best idea, but I think that I need it. I need us to hug each other and reaffirm how we care and end this on a good, loving note.

I'm trying to figure out where I can go for the day to cry about it. A lot of friends have immovable plans, so I don't know what to do. Either way, it ends with an empty bedroom and a torn-up heart. I feel like it's going to completely break me. That's also when NC will completely kick in. We've already discussed texting Merry Christmas (we'd originally agreed to talk on the phone then, so it's a step back at least). I don't want to feel guilty about it later.

I don't know how I'll survive this week. I can only hope that once it's finally done, it will be easier to start truly grieving, instead of focusing on all of the uncertainty. But I feel like I'll just be an empty, depressed shell of myself. Any encouragement from those who have come out of the move-out trauma intact?