I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. And if he's living a double life, why can't he go stay with the other one, instead of staying and torturing you? I'm having to live with my husband for the same house reason. And he told me he doesn't love me anymore after 27 years. Trying to move on with them in your face every day sucks, isn't fair, and not easy. I have a hard time with him having held back everything, instead of coming out with whatever the problem was at the begin. Why make us both miserable for so long? It must be even harder for you having a child, and no family around. I don't have children of my own. But two full grown step-daughters, that don't know yet what their father has done to me. The best thing we can do is to just take care of ourselves. Stop doing anything for them. But be cordial. (extremely difficult at first) living the "roommate" life while trying to get my "positve" self back kinda sucks) Find ways to, like this, reach out to others. Im in therapy, and was recommended to start journaling. That does help. The heartache will last for awhile, but you are stronger than you think. You deserve better. Hug

I am in the same boat. I was with my wife for 10 years 5 dating and 5 married. She told me at the beginning of June she wanted a separation after finding out she had been talking to a old high school friend for 2 weeks and visiting him. We had fought a little leading up to it but we had both said we were invested and wanted to make it work. I went from a routine, to crashing on a friends place with my life turned upside down just wanting my wife and best friend back. I have moved away from family. The only support system I have where I am at is her family which for obvious reasons of her moving on I cant talk to. So as we march towards divorce I just keep feeling more and more lost. The papers were prepared within 3 weeks of he asking for the separation. They were signed 3 weeks ago. Because we don't have kids soon as they are filed there is a period of 10 days and the 10 years of my life will be gone. This week has been rough for me anxiety attacks have started late at night and early in the morning. Counselling has helped, forcing myself to just take care of my self has helped, but still the thoughts and the loneliness makes things hard. Just take things day by day. Minute by minute. You are not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me I would be happy to listen.

How awful for you - the only thing you can do now is just breathe. When you're able to move you should see an attorney.

I am so sorry for this, it is such a hurtful experience.

Dear Lostinlove:

I understand your pain and heartaches because I’ve too experienced some of the same conditions. Late last year, my wife left because of some problems we were having. I’ve tried to reconnected and encourage her to return without success. My family and friends surrounded and comforted me as well as my children. I was given some good advice which proven to be essential as part of my recovery. The advice is as follows….

1.) Conduct a personal inventory of oneself and determine your flaws and shortcoming. Create a plan to correct them.
2.) Arrange to visit a counselor/therapist to help you with your issues.
3.) Focus on you! Do things you have long to do and focus on the dreams you once had.
4.) Stop blaming yourself and concentration on your wonderful attributes and your accomplishments.
5.) Begin each morning with prayer and re-connect with God.

This might seem simplistic but it worked for me. After eight months I’m doing well. I’m in senior management of a company and functioning with excellent. I’m smiling and enjoying life again and I’ve realized, living alone is not bad. My self-esteem has improved by the attention given to me by me and also a variety of females (smile). I haven’t yet dated because I needed to “Do Me” first. Take one day at a time. The hurt will not leave immediately but each day God will give you strength to continue and the hurt will dwindle. You are not alone!!!

Be Blessed,
W.

You are not alone. Although this is a virtual space, you can see that we are here with you. I wish there was something I could say that would make all go away. So many of us dealing with this. I will be praying for you - for us. - Hugs

Hope you find some help here as I did. This is painful, and there is no way through but to keep putting one foot in front of the other day after day, remembering your little one needs you and will love you unconditionally is a start.

So sorry you're going through this. I'm in the same situation. Except he regrets and want to make things work. I have a 1 year old and also no family around. We live together. It's not too bad though we talk and at least we still care for kid and dogs together now. But if u don't feel comfortable may be ask him to stay elsewhere. I also see a therapist. I know how scary and tough it is without family I too panic by the idea if I leave him I'll have no-one here. Hugs ur not alone. Feel free to message me if you want

Until your bond between each other is completely broken your suffering will go on indefinitely. I hope you can sell up soon so as your road to recovery can begin, and believe me your road to recovery will begin once you are apart, science is in support of you as well as me being able to speak from personal experience, in that time heals a broken heart.

yay! in time you'll know that you are so much better off without that evil rotten phony manipulative monster.
i was in your shoes when the reality of my wife came to light, heart broken, devastated
yay! free of a monster, an anchor, a user
good for you

I am living with my ex as well and it is torture. I hope you are able to get out soon. If you ever need to talk I am going through a similar situation.

I am going through something similar and I am so sorry that you are going through this I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. I'm not sure how long my husband has been sneaking behind my back but we were best friends and just loss our baby to a miscarriage and was getting ready to renew our vows for our 10 year anniversary when I discovered not one but two females. After I caught him with the first female he said he needed sometime and would be staying with friends well come to find out he was living a double life with the second female who he knew before the first female. So he is playing daddy to her kids. She is only 33 been married twice and has four kids. He started a new FB and her FB page looks like ours did with family pics and vacation pics. She is pressuring him to file for divorce and even her mom is in on the manipulation. What's sad is I was blindsided had no clue, happy in love still getting flutters and this happened. My heart is broken but I am learning to cope with this site, therapy and spiritual guidance through scripture, sermons and praying. I am here if you need to talk. My prayers are with you. There is no easy way accept for second by second. Everything upsets me because I just don't know why and will probably never know. One thing I do know is even when we don't want to do something if it is God's will he will make it happen. I am learning that as I type. God works in mysterious ways you just have to trust him.