You care because you are an amazing person. You have sooooooo much to give to those around you. You just need some time to heal.
You haven't disappointed me! I appreciate your honesty. I appreciate your kind soul.
It is ok to cry and crying isn't stupidly crying. You are releasing what holds you back.
Message me if you want to talk. Take care of yourself!
I got your back!

Thanks Jesin26, you know how it just hits you sometimes right in the gut. No matter how hard you try to get through, bam! stomach punch! I wish that it was easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My tunnel is just pitch black right now! LOL 25 years....poof, gone.

It does get better. My own family was devastated when he left. The first six months I just wanted him back and cried daily. It has taken a lot of work divorce care, counseling, prayer, especially leaning into God. I am not a person who likes to be alone but I am getting better. God bless.

4 Months here since I found out about the affair. I'm hoping it keeps getting easier. A friend noticed that my trigger right now is my son, I really miss seeing him everyday. Hes 18, so he would be spreading his wings pretty soon anyway. Somedays are just better than others. I just hate the panic/anxiety feeling. I am really leaning into God right now, learning how to surrender has been a daily theme in my prayer life. Thanks for your response amazinggrace15.

Hey... I know how you are feeling. my x took off 2 weeks after my daughter 18 birthday. They were planning it out for some time. Miss her terribly. I can barely do my life. hang in there

STex - I hated those days where I just couldn't seem to get myself together. They really sucked!!! But it is ok to have those days. Remember there are the 5 stages of grief (and we are grieving the death of our marriages) and they can appear in any order and at any time. Allow yourself to be sad, but then ask yourself, "I'm not doing something right now that make me happy. Why is that?" Make the decision that you DESERVE to be happy, you deserve to enjoy life, you will NOT let the consequences of the misdeeds of others to make you unhappy. Now, get up and get out and enjoy some of that TX sunshine!
Sending lots of positive energy your way!!!

I hate those days and it seems every minute is an hour, I have to take a sleep aid to sleep and then the other side of me wants to call stbx to hear his voice or hope his is going through misery so I feel better but I keep myself busy and I run options through my head .. if I called this will happen and I will regret it, I just remember how far I have come so far and that gives me the push to get through it . Being around people helps as well and my sons live at home still so I am in good company but if they did not live with me and if they were on their own I would be at their place . My sons are my comfort so is my job I can't fall off the tracks because I am all my sons have so I suck it up. You are stronger than you think you are and you have come this far not by luck but by your own will to push forward. Keep pushing forward and give yourself some credit and pat yourself on the back .

I am on week 3 of no contact , just had the one slip up the first week. I think it is the only way to further along the healing.

You're a good person with a huge heart!

Callousness isn't strength. Its a lack of empathy. Courage isn't fearlessness, it's being scared and doing it anyway. Feeling pain and acknowledging it and getting out of bed and living life is strength. Understand the philosophical difference. My heart is shattered too. I'm at work smiling at strangers (I'm a lead server at a resturant) I'm literally a professional nice guy. I'm leaving work now, it was dead since we're having a nor'easter. It is what it is, tomorrow is another day. Remember that. Life isn't easy, it's pain. Remember princess bride? "Life is pain, anyone saying different is selling something." I'm pierced through the heart too. Gotta hold on, for that my friend is Real strength. Feel the pain and move forward anyway. Some days will still suck more than others. It's like being under enemy fire. Some days your head will be down. But never forget the mission is our kids. We know our lives are temporary, we live for them. They need us. We can't serve them if we give up. I'm with you in the foxhole facing the same slings and arrows, brother. We will do this together

FamilyGuy - great analogy to the "under enemy fire"! So true.

familyguy you said "We know our lives are temporary", I have been learning that this, this situation, this pain, this heartbreak IS TEMPORARY. It is a season we are in and it will pass. I am keeping this in my head and my heart today. I will give it my everything to have a great day. I am better than this, I am worth it, I have value, I am kind, I am generous, I will overcome,.....

Amen to that STex!!!!

It's getting better!!! I'm so happy you had a great time with your friends and there is light at the end of the tunnel