My 24 year relationship blew up 18 months ago and I'm pretty comfortable not dating. Taken me awhile to get where I'm at but I'd suggest getting comfortable being on your own before trying for another relationship so soon. There's a lot to be said for being single. A lot more freedom and a lot less stressful. The thought of getting into another relationship just doesn't appeal to me, maybe again one day but you should try focusing on you and your own happiness. Good luck. I know how bad it sucks especially after such a long marriage.

I'm so sorry for your pain.

From I have learned, I'm guessing that you haven't given yourself enough time to heal from the divorce. You were married a long time and most experts say it takes between 1-2 years for every 5 to 7 yrs of the relationship.

The sitting there sobbing is part of the grief process. It's called mourning. Mourning is the outward expression of the grief/sadness we feel inside. w/o mourning, its really hard to heal the grief. My best educated guess is that what could be feeling now is not just the loss of the most recent guy, but it is the compounded loss of your marriage and probably the long distance relationship too.

You will know how to move on when you have given yourself enough time to go thru the grieving process. Please consider finding a counselor who specializes in the grief process. Other options to help are grief groups run by qualified therapists/facilitators and a divorce support group called Rebuilding (www.rebuilding.org).

~healing hugs~

It must of been very hard to move on after 25 years of marriage. One thing I do not understand is why to date someone right away. This is a misleading concept that new relationship will help you to recover. It might be truth in a rare case. However in most situations it is just impossible to meet a right person. You soul needs a healing, it takes time. And even, when you ll feel better, finding a new mate might be a big problem. For variety of reasons..age, kids, financial situation. In general, the older you are, the less chances you have to meet a truth love, your perfect match. So, the only thing you can do is to find a piece within yourself and enjoy your singlehood.
I am still married, and I am totally unhappy. But, I know for sure if I ll ever devorce I won't moove my finger to find another man. I gave up on my personal happiness and this is a right thing to do. Because as long as you have a hope for another love, you can not focused on your real situation. Those hopes and fantasies just detach you from where you really are.

You need to give yourself time. Online dating guy did you a favor by sending you the email. You could have wasted months or years with him.

You have been on two dates since your divorce about a year ago. Give yourself more time.

I had been in a 7 year relationship many years ago. When it ended, I couldn't bring myself to date for a whole year. I finally found the nerve to ask this girl out. We had a wonderful time. We even discussed tons of ideas for future dates. We spoke once or twice during the week and planned our next date for the coming weekend. On Friday, I called to confirm our date for Saturday night. She then told me that she couldn't see me anymore. Although I didn't know it at the time, she had just broken up with her boyfriend because he had commitment issues. She had agreed to date me to make him jealous, which worked, and they got back together. I felt like you did, not good enough for anyone.

That night I sobbed and sobbed over a girl I had gone out with ONCE. Now, I'll tell you, if I had a time machine right now, I wouldn't go back to meet Jesus or buy Microsoft Stock in the early 1980s, I'd go back to that night and kick myself in the head for being stupid.

No offense, don't be stupid. Give yourself time. Your a great person and the universe has great plans for you. Honestly, what you want right now is peace in your life. Maybe someone helps you find that peace. Maybe you find it on your own. It will come. Give it time.

thank you all! I am feeling much better. I sent online dating guy an email - not mean or spiteful but expressing the thoughts he didnt have the courtesy to let me express by ending things so abruptly. It gave me some power back and thinking through things - he had power not only that night but for the last three months. slowly getting there - returning to the therapist I have seen a few times since the divorce next week. this weekend will likely be tough - but baby steps

Hang in there it is a process and you will be fine.

I was married for 23yrs and dated right after the separation....Huge mistake. If I knew then what I know now I would have waited and dealt with the divorce and it's reminisce. That old saying "the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one" It did help me because I got over my ex-husband real quick, but got myself into a bigger pickle. This pickle made my ex look like an angel. So that saying is so not true whatsoever. I was told for every year you were married you shouldn't date for 2 months which means I should have waited 2yrs.

Don't beat yourself up. You have to feel your hurt and go through the pain in order to start feeling better. The one thing I know is to be true, only you can move yourself forward, no one can tell you how as I heard every thing there is known to man to try and move on, people can give you the tools but at the end of the day you have to make the effort to pick yourself up and go on. It's a hard thing to do, but you must try, and each day does get better I promise you. If you start to focus on all the good and positive things about yourself you will change the way you think. Please trust me on this. You'll get sick of feeling like this and you'll make the necessary changes, do give him this much control over your feelings.

I try to stay away from them dating sites, as it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get. I do much better on my own. I wish you happiness and peace my friend.

You move on one day at a time. You were not good enough for him! Doesn't necessarily mean that you are not good enough for the right man. Hold on to your self esteem that is what keep us together.

Was he ever married with children? If he wasn't he cannot relate to the experience of being a parent. I dated a man for two years. Glad I didn't because he planned to relocate and I was not a part of his plans. I did not introduce my young adult sons to him because my sons are personal to me, and glad that I didn't.

Hugs to you.

Yep - as everyone else has said - you need time alone. The only one who needs to approve of you, is you. No other opinion matters.

Its people who date too soon - who are not cpable - who make it really hard on those of us who have done the work, spent the time alone, and are really ready. We then encounter the unready, who want us to fix them........and its a disaster. Please - for everyone's sake - do some work before going out there. We all deserve better than being someone's rebound.