Ok so I am a bit confused here. You say my "partner", "he" singular and then you say "their" and "they" which is plural. So I am wondering if he has children, is that why you switch from singular to plural? Also you say "partner" but it sounds like you are not living together if he is up and leaving without notice to you for days. I remember back shortly after my husband and I got married I had to sit down with him and talk about his going out drinking with the guys. Now that we were married it was not ok for him to be going to bars any old time he wanted continuing to act like a single person. He could not have his cake and eat it too. I.e. Have me safely at home out of circulation to fuck him when he was ready and be footloose and fancy free. We were now a family and needed to communicate with each other about obligations we had on the calendar because I might have told him we need to be at XYZ together or I would appreciate you coming along with to XYZ but if he still operated as a singly person mentality then he would be a no show and I would be left not just holding the bag but no explanation for his whereabouts and possibly worried he might have gotten into a car accident etc. Not a loving thing to do to someone you love. He didn't like having the talk, but he could appreciate my worrying and feelings and attempt to create a family even if it was just the two of us. After having been single now for 10 years I wonder what bad habits I might have picked up that I will need to change when I find someone new. But getting back to you. If you are not married, not living together, I am not sure you have a leg to stand on having that convo with him. He doesn't sound as committed and/or just hasn't thought about it. To think of your self in terms of being a committed couple takes a mental switch. Which brings me to my next question...his running home to dad to get his head together. There seems like more going on there than you are divulging which Iis fine, but if there is some interaction that preludes/triggers his withdrawal then it doesn't seem fair to paint him as the one with all the problems here. Either way your relationship is not in as good a place as you lead people to believe. In a good relationship you have established your trustworthiness and ability to give good sound wise council and you have his back no matter what even if he is wrong. You support him in public as if he has done no wrong. Behind closed doors you may disagree but you never stop loving him for it. If you haven't established a solid foundation like this with him and he feels like he has to get away from you and doesn't owe you so much as by your leave, then you not only have some very important conversation you need to have with him you need to do some work demonstrating these points to him. If you are solid on this and I am wrong then he has some things he needs to work through before he can make a deeper commitment to you. You may or may not be able to help him but it sounds like you would appreciate him sharing with you and giving you a chance to help him. Sorry if I miss read anything into this that isn't there but you are being very ambiguous. I was successfully married for 18 years till he passed away so I believe my council is solid here. You will never go wrong showing genuine love, care, and concern or opening up a dialogue. Truth stands the test of time and puts fears to rest and gives peace of mind. My challenge is finding someone new. I love to hear others making it work, gives me hope. I wish you the best of luck.

You are right on some things. I am trying to understand his point. We do live together. It's hard because things ware good then this happens. I have never loved anyone before. I have never trusted anyone before and the moment I do this happens . I haven't seen him for 3 days now and when I text him he ignores me