ok what are some of the emotions, issues that you are having?

First, I still love him so much and am very devastated that we are divorced now, but I know that I am better off without him. Secondly, I have been wondering if all the times he beat me were my fault, because he didn't give me much attention and when he was beating me, I had a sense of relief, because he was giving me attention, even though it was negative. I am just really struggling with this.

NOT YOUR FAULT. Period.

Would you taking a running head start and kick a puppy? Well, why not?

If it is not OK to do it to an animal, then WHY WHY WHY would it be OK to do it to a person?

Aargh. What you must have went through upsets me a little - the fact that somebody would do that to another person just gives me another point in the "humans do not deserve to go on as a race" column.

NOT YOUR FAULT... HE is the one who is MAKING it seem as if it is YOUR fault... it is NOT your fault. There is NO person on earth, whether it be female or male that deserves to be abused in ANY way, shape or form. YOU ARE better off without him. I know this is hard, but, take TEENY, TINY baby steps.... One Day At A Time... You will make it through this. We're here for you!~!

One thing I should make clear to you all is that i would also yell at him and I guess that he would get tired of me yelling and he would choke me and tell me he was going to kill me.
Another thing that has been hard is that I feel guilty that my 7 year old son saw most of it happening. I am scared that he could end up becoming an abuser as well.

So you think that you yelling constituates what happened after?

No. No. NONONONO.

OMG!~! Possibly could be that your son will "learn the roles" that you BOTH played in this. I'm sorry for what you & your son has gone through. NO matter what, NO ONE deserves to be abused. You should have filed charges on him.

I do not know if this is the right advice, so somebody here correct me if need be.

Talk to your son.

Talk to a counseller.

Take your som to a counseller.

That is terrible stuff that happened and both of you probably need help healing.

he was arrested once. it was the 3rd time it happened. I dropped the charges, because he was going to get counseling that was ordered by the court. It actually only made things worse. And I was hoping that we could work things out and I didn't want him to get in trouble and leave me (funny cause he left me anyway.)

Well, this man needs SERIOUS help. There is NO reason for that kind of abuse. Get to a counselor, get your son to a counselor & STAY AWAY FROM YOUR X

I just recently left the abussive situation that I was in. I am so glad I did. It went on for a year and 9 months. I just wish, I had put an end to it sooner. If you get a chance, read the post that I wrote. It is titled: "He hit me for the last time. It is over now." It is in the Divorce Community under the Advice section.

Someone once said to me, "What if your sister or best friend came to you with the same question; what advice would you have given to them?" It made alot of sence to me because, I have for along time put others well-being way above my own well-being. It is time now, to start taking care of you. We need to start loving ourselves. That is a hard concept for me but, I know it is the right one. When we are put down so much we really start to believe the the terrible stuff, is true. It is called, "stinkin thinkin". (slang) lol You deserve so much better than that!!! I wish you the very best. If you need to talk, I am here for you. If I can do it, anybody can.
GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE.

Love and Hugs,

Lisa
abusehurts