In my experience, if it is both of you in therapy, it either is very helpful or just a stage to reopen painful memories. You both have to be fully committed. If it is just you, explain to your therapist exactly what you'd like to get out of your time and if it continues to not be helpful, you need to reconsider the therapist or the type of therapy

Thank you for your reply. My husband is out of the picture. I am getting therapy for myself to heal from living in lies for 20 years. Today was my second session. I will give it more time. I want to move on and speed up this grieving process and also empower myself to raise my kids on my own.

My therapist has me writing in a journal everyday rating my depression and anxiety than we discuss how to work on what I was dealing with that week. It helps for me.

Thank you tattoo_Queen. That sounds like a very good idea. Writing helps.

I saw a counselor for a whole year and it helped. I didn't want to overwhelmed my friends and family talking about my divorce all the time so my therapy sessions helped. Journaling also helped me cope with the pain.

You can burden your friends very easily thats
Why the support groups, therapy, divorce care.

Anything to help move you thru it. It is a long
Pain filled journey and its not done on the day
Of the divorce. Thats just the next leg of your
Journey.

I First went to alanon and MC, then i found my
Own therapist and i started divorce care after
The separation and attended it many Times. I
see my therapist as needed and attend weekly
Alanon been going since 2012.

Keep posting on here too it helps a lot to just
Have a safe place to vent, talk and even just
To encourage Others. We all have wisdom to
offer each other as we try to heal, HUGS

I just started last week. I have my second one today. I'm looking forward to it as I believe it should help in someone way. I felt a lot better after the first one. Having a third party weight in on things I consider a positive.

@raindrop – Give yourself time to cope and recover. Therapy is a great choice to do, especially if you’ve dealt with traumatic events during your marriage and just the after effect of divorce is hard. Journaling really helps, I started my own blog where I share my struggles and events in my life I have overcome. Please know I will be praying for you, for patience and strength.

First off please accept my virtual hug. In just those few sentences your pain is clearly expressed. You ask does therapy really help? If your question should be does therapy make it hurt less the answer is no. Honey-it is going to hurt bad. However therapy helps you deal with that hurt so you make better decisions and go on with your life. It also helps you figure out that it is ok to hurt and sometimes you need to hear that it is ok. We are our worst enemies and we tend to beat ourselves up and therapists are good about helping us fight our own thoughts. Please take care.

It helps. It really, really helps - at least for me. I wasn't sure if it would help at first either, but I can't tell you how much progress I've made (though I still have bad days, of course). My therapist is just a Godsend - very helpful and friendly and caring. Yes, at first it does seem like a lot of just talking, and even now (I've been in therapy for about 4 months) there's a lot of talking, but there's also a lot of revelations and understanding and the therapist helping me realize things I wouldn't have realized on my own. It's another shoulder to cry on, so you don't overwhelm your friends, as others have said, but it's more than that. It's another form of support. My therapist also has me write her emails to tell her how I'm feeling in between our sessions, and as someone else also said, writing helps SO much, also.

I know everyone has different opinions, therapy isn't for everyone, but I KNOW it has helped me!

(Virtual hugs)

Thank you all for your replies.

I guess it could work if you Both are being real with each other & use the coping methods & skills learned in therapy. I started individual therapy first before he agreed to try couples therapy.

In the end it didn't work but that was because we both had issues we weren't dealing with.

BTW, the individual therapy has helped keep me focused on dealing with separation and stop overwhelming my friends that I still have.