Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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rbsingle1959 05/02/2012

I am divorced from my spouse of 22 yrs married. He left me for his ex girlfriend and moved to Florida with her. I was never really close to his family as they ive in Puerto Rico. I never spoke to his sisters by phone. I got along very well only with one brother who lived in NY. When all of the breakup happened I wonder at times the lies he has invented to his family to justify his actions. The bad things he has said about me like i didnt cook, i didnt respect him, i had an attitude etc etc so that they will just say "Well good thing you left her" and so on. They did like his ex girlfriend and I am sure they made a BIG PARTY when they found out he returned to her especially one of his sisters. His ex girlfriend who is now his wife even named her daughter after his sister. Does anyone wonder how bad he has made you look to his family to justify his actions? Just wondering cause I did like his mom. Surely she cant stand me by now.

deleted_user 05/02/2012

There are some family members who are wise to the 'spin' of them. Don't think for a minute that everyone believes them. After all, they have eyes.

try not to let that stuff hold you down, RB. you are free of that drama now.

deleted_user 05/02/2012

No - because they werent in it - they didnt live the day to day - above that, when he was mad at his family he would talk crap about them to me and throw temper tantrums with them, hang up on them, be verbally abusive to them - and when he was mad at me he would do the same thing to them. They have lived with them for 39 years. They are very familiar with his actions and manipulations -

How his mom and sister see me now is of little concern to me anyway. The only person I miss is my step daughter. She is 12 and will have to make her own decisions about her observations and treatment by her "parents" soon enough and I simply hope she remembers I love her and will always be here for her. Beyond that is of little concern to me.

xoxo

lonelygal27 05/02/2012

Unfortunately people are so insensitive !
Stay strong, you really don't care what people think or so.

I am in a similar situation but I think it's his issue, not mine !

deleted_user 05/02/2012

Hi, I'm wondering what he has told his family also. It really irritates me that he makes me out to be the bad guy. He's the one that cheated. He's the one that asked for a separation. He's the one that hasn't seen his kids for more than 5 minutes in 2 months. I'm not saying I'm perfect but we BOTH were responsible for this marriage ending. What I don't like is how he has put his family up on this pedestal when he has only seen his father, sisters and brother twice in 23 years. They have NEVER sent a card for my kids birthday or called. Yet he raves to my children how fantastic his family is and how they need to spend more time with that side of the family. REALLY? Are you kidding me?

I've learned to shrug off a lot of crap but that is what irritates me the most.

trisha9054 05/02/2012

The only family my ex has is our daughter and his daughter who he never sees. I know he bad mouthed me to the many ow. More of a pity party for him to garner attention. He did cause a huge problem with benefits when I applied for Cobra health insurance. I almost didn't get my health insurance because he backed our divorce date up many months so I wouldn't qualify.

He can say anything he likes because I know the truth. Those people he is crying to don't know me, will never know me so why should I care. The few people who do know me know the truth.

rbsingle1959 05/02/2012

I know his family will all believe him. He is so good at fooling people. I mean look at what he did. He fooled me, his kids, friends, job, and church. So yes I am sure he has made me to be the bad guy and yes its my fault to. He's pathetic

charlotta 05/02/2012

I think they have some indication of my ex's selfish nature. Of course at the end of the day, he is their son.

I know his Dad and his dad's wife like me, but I am sure that they will like the new girl too. From all accounts, she is a good person, hard working and she loves him so there is probably not much to not like about the new woman.

They are his family, so at the end of the day, it does not really matter what they think of me. I know the truth and if my ex ever decides to face it; he does too.

Hugs.

anguisheddj 05/02/2012

sometimes family sticks to family and sometimes they don't. No matter what he says, you know the truth about you so if it bothers you don't let it, you are your own person now. You can be which ever way you want to be.

deleted_user 05/02/2012

I wonder the same thing. Besides NC, he blocked me on facebook but his daughter still has me as a friend. Of course, I'm a very quiet friend there lol She has a birthday coming up and I really want to wish her well. We'll see if she boots me, too. It would surprise me because I wouldn't have thought it of her, but blood is thicker than water as my Mom used to say....
And, if she does, it's her loss as much or more than mine...
And, I also agree with gal27... and you know the truth so it doesn't really matter what they think...

sweetbabyred 05/02/2012

I guess I'm lucky in this regard. My mother in law, sister in law, and brother in law love me and are upset with him for what he's doing. Of course, it's difficult because I'm sure if we do end up getting divorced, I'll have to give up my contact with them because it would be too awkward.
It is nice to know that they'd really like us to be back together, but their most important thing is that I end up happy no matter what happens.

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