Sounds like he is trying to tie you in knots, or wants to spy on you, or wants you back. My ex used to be nice to me when he wanted information or stuff to use against me in court. I finally stopped talking to him altogether. Our son is grown, so I am lucky to have the choice of not talking to him again. That you have younger children forces you to have contact with him. Be polite, but firm, you have your own life now with your children and he has his own life now, with the same children. He might respond if it becomes clear to him how protracted child custody issues hurt the children because they make ex spouses an enemy.

I feel for you, but, you don't have to let him in your house, even if there are groceries. Take the kids inside and grab the groceries after he leaves!

Bully! That's what he is. If you can never let him see that it gets to you, it should end! Sorry, this sounds like quite a pain.

When I ended the marriage, my STBX made some ridiculous comment like''oh so you just decided that you get all 3.'' I just coolly replied ''if you want to battle me in court for custody you are free to do so.'' Never heard a word about it again.

Outside of Taliban Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia, there is no way my STBX would get custody.

Just keep your chin up, stay in a state of grace and dignity.

Thank you. It is hard, I feel like I'm just trudging along sometimes.