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Do I let it go?

oohum02
oohum02
My husband and I were arguing last night. He made a comment "well there's plenty I could say but it's not worth the divorce..." I then prodded wanting to know what it was that he wanted to say which may have prompted divorce and he "forgot." I was just annoyed that he couldn't just talk to me about whatever it was. He kept saying "can't we get along again?" and I felt like he'd been hiding something from me and worse, that he was going to continue lying about it so that I was always thinking about it. Well next thing I knew he was crying saying it was the anniversary of this guys death (that my husband had pulled from a car wreck- he's a fireman) and so that's why he'd been so standoff-ish. I let it go but was resigned to sleep apart from him because I was just so angry. A little Google search and I find that he lied to me. It wasn't the anniversary like he said so now I feel like he was just saying that to get me to let it all go. Do I let it go or confront him about it?
jackiejolie
jackiejolie
I think you will drive yourself mad unless you confront him on this issue. He may have said it in the heat of the moment I'm which case he might just be embarrassed having said something so stupid.

However if there is a genuine issue you have the right to know about it now, after what he said. Perhaps try and approach it in a light hearted manner so as to catch him off guard?

Good luck
JoeMc3
JoeMc3
When emotions come into play, people say stupid, hurtful and very irrational statements. Give both of you a cooling down period and then approach him again about the conversation. What did he mean? What is bothering him? He could have some serious issues he might be dealing with but maybe doesn't know how to communicate those issues.
ESL12
ESL12
Sounds like you both need to focus more and work harder on communication. It does take two, and i can tell you, I wish my wife had communicated feelings more then holding them in, if she communicated we could have done something about it, but she didn't and let it grow and explode and became to late in her mind. A healthy fight is a good thing for any relationship as long as its kept respectful. Communication is probably the most important part of any relationship.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
Truth, he really had nothing to say. He probably thought he was being funny in the moment. But now, you are mulling over things in your head and really just conjuring up stuff when in reality, there probably isn't anything he has to say.

His comment about "cant we just get along" is his way of saying, I don't want to fight and would rather just continue trying to get along so we can be together.

Its hard to see in the moment. I know in the past, I myself would probably be going over the same things you are in your head, but if I was to give myself a moment to let the emotion wind down, I probably wouldn't like the comment, but I would know it probably doesn't mean what I think it means.

So I think I would let that comment go. by pushing the topic, it could cause a knee-jerk reaction from him and things could be said and done that probably wouldn't have been said or done. Which could lead to you two not getting along.