Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Feel very lonely in a relationship
Posted by: andreal197309/30/2017Mood: Horrible
Have you ever felt so alone that you want to scream, yell, or break something? I Don't know what to do anymore. Ive been in a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend who is 9 years younger. I really don't think age is as much of an issue as maybe lack of experience. Not sure what the problem is, but I can't get him to discuss any emotional issues until I'm extremely upset. (After bringing it up 4-10 times or more) He then acts as if I'm over reacting. I am on disability due to many health issues, my child has mental health issues, My mom has COPD, my dad is an alcoholic which has caused multiple problems with the healing of his hip surgery. I help them a couple of days a,week. I'm in bed a lot of the day due to pain, or being up all night with dangerous blood sugars, (lack of a good Dr, and can't travel), or stuck inside due to my asthma. I have tried to discuss my relationship with my mom and she defends his lack of emotional intimacy with "that's how guys are" When I tell him how I feel, he says there are things he is unhappy with and the discussion becomes about him. I asked to bring up his issues at an appropriate time so I can address them. I asked him if he wanted this and it took two days to answer. It was torture! Once, he said He tried to get out, but I wouldn't let him because I said he grow some balls or a vagina and deal with things, so he stayed. I said he was free to go and I can't make him stay. I want this to work because I have invested so much into it. I don't know what I will do financially, either. Before we met, my mom helped out. I think she wants me to stay because she doesn't want to feel obligated to help. I am an adult so obviously she isn't. I Don't know what to do. I am lonely almost 24,hours, except when my child is free.
You say the age difference has not much to do with this, but maybe it's an issue of lack of experience. Well, how do most people gain experience? Yeah, with age. So, yes, this is an issue in part because of the age difference. My husband and I have a 6 year age difference (I'm 55, he's 61) and many of our differences have to do with age, the time, society and culture in which we "grew up".
Sounds like you are beholden on your BF for physical and financial help. A relationship must be reciprocal in order to be successful. What to do you bring to the relationship? It sounds like you both have misgivings regarding the relationship. Maybe it isn't meant to be....
Just a gentle reminder that you just admitted to wanting to work because you've invested so much time and for financial reasons. If you are writing that here, he'd have to mentally deficient not to have noticed that's why you are hanging onto him. How about you try to figure out if you are in the relationship because you actually love HIM or for all the extras. Once you figure that out, you'll know how to proceed. Maybe clarify in your own mind what you want out of the relationship with this particular man.
On another note, this seems like a relationship that might involve some alcohol or substance use issues on your part. I hope that's not the case, but if it is please get yourself some help.