How old are you?

When a couple are right in the middle of a divorce, all they typically do...is fight. Hopefully that won't last forever. It's been 9 years for me, and my ex and I can talk like old friends...which in a way...is what we are. So...give it time and stay out of it as much as you can. It's really best if you can split your time between your parents as much as you can.

Im sorry youre going through this. Its tough when youre a kid and your parents decide to split up. A lot of things are out of your control and you just try not to cause anymore issues. Youre parents are going through a very emotional time right now and it is hard for them to see what they are doing to you. They are arguing because each wants to be heard and no one is listening. It has nothing to do with you or what you did or how you did something. I know it hurts and Im sorry for that too. I think you are pretty brave as a kid, coming on this site and asking a question like this. Shows maturity far beyond your years. I think you should do what you think you need to to have the best life. If you think being with your dad is going to do that than do it. Yes your mom will be sad and hurt you do not want to be with her but so would your dad be if you decided the other way. There is no winning, only you getting what you think you need to live well. I think you should also make sure to see your mom as much as possible. Set up something special that only you and she do together. Whether its a meal or a special time you go shopping or just going to the park for a walk. Whatever it is just make it the two of you. I hope it gets better and easier for you as the whole thing progresses. No one ever goes into these things thinking that they will break up and mess up other peoples lives. Your parents love you and when things calm down a new normal will become "normal" and hopefully it is good for all of you.

Just curious, Cassidy, what makes you want to be with your dad over your mother? I think feeling more comfortable with one parent over another is completely normal. As a mother, I would be devastated but I'd also like the truth so that maybe I could work on being the kind of mom you need. Also, I imagine both your parents love you so much! Their problems have nothing at all to do with you, but maybe you need to let them both know, when things are good & calm ;), just how this is affecting you. I think they'd really appreciate that and hopefully that would help them to handle things differently. Best of luck sweet girl!

Hi Cassidy,
As a Mom who is divorced and had my two boys living with me for years and then had them move out to their Dad's, I might have a different angle on this. I have also had several friends that have gone through this. I think it depends on the reasons you want to live with your Dad. Sounds like you will have to move if you stay with your Mom? I know that's really tough at your age if you would hev to go to new school. My older son moved out because there was no curfew at his Dad's, not a lot of rules, and no one asking him about his schoolwork over ther. He had realistic expectations of how the move would go and who his Dad was and it was OK for him. My younger son got to tag along although he was only 12, due to the courts not wanting to split up siblings, he was kinda talked into it because he couldn't decide. His Dad had travelled all work weeks and we had divorced when my younger son was 7 so he was looking forward to having a better relationship with his Dad and spending lots of time with him. They always had a lot of fun on Dad's weekend and did all sorts of fun things. Well the reality is it'd different when you live with that parent full time. The truth was that Dad is a workaholic and selfish, not a great prioritizer of his kids. This about killed my younger son as he didn't understand and was so disappointed in how it went. A year of counseling later and now off Prozac, he is doing OK, it's been a tough road and he still fights with his Dad. But his expectations are less and he id dealing OK.

Now I don't know anything about your relationship with your Dad besides what you have posted. So this may or may not apply to you. I would just suggest that you really try to figure out why you would pick your Dad. Make sure it is for good reasons and you know that he would be a good parent to you, as good or better than your Mom. Not just a better "friend" since you still need a parent. If you still believe it is the right decision, sit down with your Mom and explain it to her. It will hurt her feelings as it did mine, but she loves you and ultimately wants what is best for you, so she will understand and accept it in the long run. Make sure you let her know how much you love her.
Good luck and post to let us know how it goes and good for you for reaching out for opinions. It shows you are open and definitely mature.

Hi everyone thank you for all the comments that you have me, I feel much better now. What I have decided was, after having a long talk with myself, I will not choose who to be with. I think the only reason I want to be with my dad more is because I see him less, does that make since? I mean, I have separation issues already, I don't want to leave certain people ( I remember in school, my best friend had to talk to me cause I wouldn't leave her), and I always think, from such happenings, my dad, and fiance, will go to Atlanta to be with his mom, you see, my dad has trouble having a house or car, he can't afford it (he now has a job and is trying really hard to get this one house for me, him, and his fiance Brianna). I think the dissension I made was for the best, like I said, from experience.

XOXO, Cassidy