Hello everyone,

 I just got divorce last year from my husband. He was abusive... I made huge mistake into marrying thinking things could be worked out. The violence did escalate, I just chose to ignore all the warning signs. It started off as arguments, yelling, then breaking things like my umbrella, then monitoring all my texts and calls, even hacking my account here and freaking out for writing bad about him. This was one of the worst experiences of my life, but I'm hoping to get back to something normal even though my life before this wasn't that great, I feel like was never really normal, but I feel worse than what I did before for sure. My entire life seems to be this constant struggle with regards to relating to people because of early childhood abuse. I don't feel I relate with people who are healthy and not from abusive backgrounds I think, and that's how I ended up with the most abusive asshole I've ever come across. He tortured me, tried to turn my family against me and succeeded I feel like with my mom, tried to make me crazy, physically and emotionally harmed me, lied to me about everything from breaking my dresser drawer to talking with his past girlfriends for money..... and after all this, the answer is: I didn't do anything. He claims he never did anything bad to me! I'm the bad one, he did nothing to me, I'm crazy, and I'm the one who talked to guys behind his back! I knew people could be evil but this I feel is definitely the cherry on top of the cake for my life. I'm contemplating staying single for the rest of my days because at this point I'd rather be alone than to be in anything other than normal healthy relationship if that even exists!