Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm divorcing after a 30 year marriage. In May, after an abuse incident where my soon-to-be-ex got arrested, I discovered that he's been lying to me about most of the things in our marriage.
We have an adult child (age 26). My husband said our son's been abusing drugs since 2005, and my last meeting with my son back then got ugly... he blames me for everything wrong in his life. And now I'm wondering if the drugs were a lie to? (water under the bridge now)
Anyways as soon as my son heard my husband and I separated, he contacted my husband - who couldn't wait to tell me that I'm excluded.... with the announcement that we are about to become grandparents.
The baby (a granddaughter)was born Friday.
My question is... should I attempt contacting my son and his wife (who I've never met)? The only people who know how to reach him are my husband and a minister - though there is a chance I have found a phone number. I've been thinking about giving a gift - a scrap book of my son's childhood photos so they can compare how much she looks like him, a blank one for them to fill out with some bath items, and a movie gift certificate so they could enjoy time out away from the baby (my son's currently between jobs due to his company closing last month).
Am I making a mistake? Should I wait? Should I go through the minister? I feel like I'm becoming a stalker mom. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions/ideas!
We have an adult child (age 26). My husband said our son's been abusing drugs since 2005, and my last meeting with my son back then got ugly... he blames me for everything wrong in his life. And now I'm wondering if the drugs were a lie to? (water under the bridge now)
Anyways as soon as my son heard my husband and I separated, he contacted my husband - who couldn't wait to tell me that I'm excluded.... with the announcement that we are about to become grandparents.
The baby (a granddaughter)was born Friday.
My question is... should I attempt contacting my son and his wife (who I've never met)? The only people who know how to reach him are my husband and a minister - though there is a chance I have found a phone number. I've been thinking about giving a gift - a scrap book of my son's childhood photos so they can compare how much she looks like him, a blank one for them to fill out with some bath items, and a movie gift certificate so they could enjoy time out away from the baby (my son's currently between jobs due to his company closing last month).
Am I making a mistake? Should I wait? Should I go through the minister? I feel like I'm becoming a stalker mom. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions/ideas!
I think that the gift that you're thinking of is spot on perfect. Not too much, not too little. If he trashes it....then he's not over the pain. If he's doing drugs....you might end up regretting getting back involved. But if he's hoping for a relationship....then he'll have an opening.
Don't put all of your hopes into this...just let it be what it will be.
Hugs,
Patti
At least you will feel that you have offered an opening to re-establish communication with him and you are showing a real interest in what is happening in his life right now.
I hope and pray that it does change his attitude, but there are no guarantees.
Take care!
I'm prepared for the rejection, prepared for the consequences (drugs or no) and even found a way to get the gift to him!
Thank you again for making me feel like I'm doing the right thing in making an effort!
much luck. I hope it turns out as you wish.
much luck. I hope it turns out as you wish.
much luck. I hope it turns out as you wish.
I delivered the gift last night. Good sign is that it didn't get returned in shreds this morning, lol. So now I wait....
I feel good about this, even if this is as far as it goes. :)