Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Back in 2012 I had joined this sight and needed help getting through my husband cheating on me with his best friends girl friend. I can not tell you all how much it meant to me to have the support from you all and how everyone just helped me through all of that. Well I am back and I need your help and strength again. After 13 years of marriage he is wanting to end it. We honestly should have done it three years ago. But we tried. At least I tried. I don't think he really ever gave our marriage his 100% attention that it needed. There were little warning signs that I see now, but of course didn't see it then. Within the last three years we have been given legal guardianship of his brother's daughter and his cousin lives with me at our home. Yup, you read it right. As of today, he and I are fighting about his neice.
This is what he is telling me why he wants a divorce.
1. He feel out of love with me 4 or 5 years ago.
2. He finds me not attractive
3. He doesn't want to feel tied down any longer
4. He wants to come and go as he please and not have to let anyone know where he is going.
5. He wants to be able to work when ever someone besides me needs him.
6. He says that I keep him away from his friends and family. (I dont by the way)
I feel he is cheating on me once again. He keeps telling me he's not. But he has changed within the last two months that he has been gone. He has lost weight and has decided to grow a full beard. Something I have begged him to do for years. I think that the person he is seeing is my used to be best friend. I helped her get the job she has and its with him! God do I feel stupid. He is a building supervisor and she is a common area cleaner to the property that he works at. Once she started working there, thats when the divorce was brought up.
So here I am again. I feel lost and alone. There are days I am great and nothing can stop me from anything, then there are days all I want to do is cry. I didn't ask for this divorce. It came out of the blue. I have begged him to go and seek help, but of course he wont do it. He is to manly to do that! Anyway, Thank you all for letting me vent. I know there will be more...lol...
This is what he is telling me why he wants a divorce.
1. He feel out of love with me 4 or 5 years ago.
2. He finds me not attractive
3. He doesn't want to feel tied down any longer
4. He wants to come and go as he please and not have to let anyone know where he is going.
5. He wants to be able to work when ever someone besides me needs him.
6. He says that I keep him away from his friends and family. (I dont by the way)
I feel he is cheating on me once again. He keeps telling me he's not. But he has changed within the last two months that he has been gone. He has lost weight and has decided to grow a full beard. Something I have begged him to do for years. I think that the person he is seeing is my used to be best friend. I helped her get the job she has and its with him! God do I feel stupid. He is a building supervisor and she is a common area cleaner to the property that he works at. Once she started working there, thats when the divorce was brought up.
So here I am again. I feel lost and alone. There are days I am great and nothing can stop me from anything, then there are days all I want to do is cry. I didn't ask for this divorce. It came out of the blue. I have begged him to go and seek help, but of course he wont do it. He is to manly to do that! Anyway, Thank you all for letting me vent. I know there will be more...lol...
Fast Forward.... We go back into the same fighting routine, same arguments, same screwtinization. I move out again, then i find out that she's been seeing someone. We sign the divorce papers and thats that...
The lying will never stop. He will deny, lie, and conceal the whole time. Do yourself a favor, end it. Dont hang onto something that will never be yours. Spend some time by yourself. Re-discover yourself.
Starting over is actually pretty cool once you get through those annoying stages of divorce.
Good Luck to you.
I know what you mean about the warning signs, I didn't see them either, but now that I look back, they are so very clear. Try not to beat yourself up about helping out your friend, at least you were being a friend and trying to help. Sometimes we get stung by doing nice things for other people.
I feel stupid for some of the nice things I have done in the past for him (soon-to-be-ex) and his family, but at least I feel I am a nice person and I won't let him change me.
I hope you can find some relief from your pain...